10 Most Annoying Things to do to Yourself

10) Trip yourself

Immediate Pain Factor - 1
Long Term Annoyance - 1
Comedic Embarrassment - 9

It's happened to us all. We've all been walking up some stairs at school, the office, apartment complex, you name it. Or it could just be that "random" change in elevation on the sidewalk, or the em-famous turf monster on the field (Sports peeps will get that one). You could have missed the step, not seen the giant pot hole in front of you, forgot you were wearing flip flops; Just about any number of occasions. But as you can see there's no immediate pain involved in most instances. Other than some bruising, maybe some scrapes the long term annoyance factor is slim. Where this shines is in the comedic embarrassment. Come on... you know it's funny when you witness someone face plant into the stairs.


9) Hit yourself in the head
Immediate Pain Factor - 4
Long Term Annoyance - 2
Comedic Embarrassment - 7

This is another one that can happen in multiple ways. Someone opening up a door as you're bending over to pick something up, something sliding off the top shelf in the closet, or taking a relaxing ride on horseback through the country and you forget to look forward as that low hanging branch pops you unexpectedly (What? That hasn't happened to you?). This self inflicted annoyance has a little more immediate pain because it sucks getting hit on the head. Barring serious injury you really don't have too much extended pain, and depending on how you hit yourself it has good potential for comedy. Example being; a friend of mine someone knocked himself out sitting in his own recliner watching TV with his remote. Impressive isn't it?


8) Bite your lip
Immediate Pain Factor - 5
Long Term Annoyance - 6
Comedic Embarrassment - 3

I really wanted to push this one in the top 5, but I think what held it back was the frequency of biting your lip. Do not confuse biting the inside of your mouth with biting your lips. Either of these are very annoying. You could be one of those people that has a nervous tick where you bite your lips and happen to accidentally chomp a little too hard. Maybe mistaken you lips for part of your sandwich. Who knows. But anything healing around the mouth has an additional annoyance. I feel it's about average in the immediate pain factor, and really there's not a whole lot of comedy from biting your lip.

7) Knock your funny bone
Immediate Pain Factor - 7
Long Term Annoyance - 2
Comedic Embarrassment - 5

First I have to say it's the dumbest thing ever that they call that area of your elbow the Funny Bone. Technically it's not even a bone that you're hitting, but your Ulnar Nerve. I know I gave this one a little higher on the immediate pain factor because I know a lot of people that it really hurts when they hit that "bone," in fact, I have a cousin that would faint every time his funny bone was hit. You can do this in multiple ways, and I'm sure we've all done it once. It's not a fun time, but luckily the pain goes away pretty quickly. Comedic-ally? Depends on how you hit that area. Maybe you're jersey-shore-fist-pumping-it to the new Lady Gaga song and bang it on the entertainment center? I don't know... I might have just made that one up.

6) Bite the inside of your mouth
Immediate Pain Factor - 6
Long Term Annoyance - 7
Comedic Embarrassment - 3

I'm sure some of you will say this is the same as biting your lip, but it so is not! I'm talking about the inside of your mouth at the back where your incisors are. If you don't know what I'm talking about then it'd be the area in your mouth that you constantly chomp on by accident when eating a chewy piece of steak. As with biting your lips, the immediate pain factor is slightly higher than average but a little more painful because you can really take a chomp out of your mouth if you're chewing hard enough. What pushes this ahead of biting your lips is as it's trying to heal it swells up, and you almost always bite it again. What held this out of the top 5 is the comedic aspect. Since, as with biting your lips, this usually happens without someone around you actually knowing, it's dependent upon your reaction.

5) Drop any sizable weight on your toes
Immediate Pain Factor - 6
Long Term Annoyance - 6
Comedic Embarrassment - 6

Welcome to the top 5! Looks like I ranked this one with the devil's number, but aside from that it doesn't matter what the weight might be, this one hurts. The most painful way I've done this to myself was when a 45lbs weight fell off the rack on onto my big toe. Not Pleasant! You could have dropped a couch, a dresser, or the box of all the the gifts your girlfriend ever got from her ex boyfriends (Come on, you know that wasn't really an accident!). This annoyance has it all. Immediate pain depending on how heavy the object is. Long term annoyance because lets face it, anything with you do to your feet suck for a while because you walk funny until it's healed, or the swelling has gone down.

4) Smash your finger
Immediate Pain Factor - 7
Long Term Annoyance - 6
Comedic Embarrassment - 7

Just with smashing your toes, smashing your fingers definitely had to be in the top 5. What helped push this ahead of your toes is the pain can be more immediate since you probably wont have shoes to dampen the blow, and there is a higher probability for comedic embarrassment. You can hit your finger with a hammer on a nail, get it caught in a rat trap, shut them in a door or smash them between two face masks. There is a number of scenarios. Because it's your fingers, it's one of those pains that you witness happening and you already know it's going to be painful before the pain actually sets it. Depending on what you do to yourself, the comedic factor and immediate pain could go higher.

3) Bite your tongue
Immediate Pain Factor - 8
Long Term Annoyance - 8
Comedic Embarrassment - 4

Here's another one that has to do with your mouth. I might have put this a little higher up than some people, because this just recently happened to me. I was chewing a piece of food and next thing I know I bit into something that wasn't my food. I took a nice chunk out of the side of my tongue and it was very annoying. I actually had a friend who played basketball with his tongue out and just happened to catch a forearm to the jaw and chomped through his tongue. Depending on where you bite yourself depends on the amount of annoyance, but just as with your mouth, lips or anything that has to heal in this area it takes time, and you're more than likely to re-injure yourself. That moves it to number 3.

2) Stub your toe
Immediate Pain Factor - 8
Long Term Annoyance - 7
Comedic Embarrassment - 8

This one had to be in the top 2. Maybe for some people this would be their number 1 but this is very, very, very annoying. It happens to everyone. If you say otherwise you're a liar! You could be walking around in the dark, turning the corner and kick the dresser, or forgot that you pushed the coffee table out that extra inch so now your spacial environment has been thrown off. Any way this happens it sucks, it's painful, and annoying. Sometimes you can stub it hard enough you crack, or rip your nail off, so the immediate pain can be immense. If you happen to be that unlucky fool that rips your toe you'll probably make this your number 1. But the pain on this, is nothing compared to the pain involved in number 1.

1) Rack yourself
Immediate Pain Factor - 10
Long Term Annoyance - 5
Comedic Embarrassment - 10

I know this probably only pertains to the guys, but I know some girls will admit that you can still get hit in crotch and it hurts. As a guy, this is probably the most painful thing to happen to them. What's the most annoying part about racking yourself is as you're curled up in a ball, on the floor quivering in pain, your buddies are dying in laughter. You have tears of agony, while they have tears of joy. I don't think any guy would question this being number 1. The pain a guy feels when he's suffered a swift blow to the nuts is by far worse than anything else that can happen to you. What put this over the edge and secured it the top spot was the fact that everyone loves seeing someone kicked in the nuts, or in this case we'll just go with the basic ball humor.