Pudgy or Pregnant?

I know that I haven’t blogged in a while, but I wanted to take this time to point out a struggle that men go through. Now, this is going to sound shallow to some of you, and partly bad on my part, but damnit… this is a conundrum that we all have to work through and I completely hope women comment on this to help give guidance in this struggle. And yes, that struggle is determining whether the girl is Pudgy or Pregnant.

How did this come about? Well, it’s been a complication that you start to recognize more as you get older; at least it wasn’t back when I was in high school. But, just recently I have been kind of noticing this girl that works out almost all the same days that I do. We’ve never exchanged more than simple pleasantries, and the occasional eye contact with the hello smile/look. Approaching women at the gym and determining if they’re single or not could honestly be a post on its own, but for now, let’s stick to pudgy or pregnant. When I first noticed her there my initial thought was she was pregnant, and working off the baby weight. Over time, as expected, she lost the pudge and it caused me to doubt the pregnancy thoughts because it happened so fast, which was until yesterday.

I got to the gym, was half-way through my workout and I see her walking across the gym. Initial glance was nothing more than the “oh she’s here today” then later on when I got closer I saw the belly. Looks just like the girls in our group of friends that are 3 months, or more, along. I was confused! I had just seen her last week and there were no signs of pregnancy potential. So it made me think about all the times before when I’ve felt awkward about approaching a girl and congratulating her on her pregnancy, or playing off the pudge like a nice, respectful guy should.

Hell, this very scenario happened to me at the bar a few weeks ago. Me and some friends went to see a buddy’s band play and his wife had a friend of hers there. Initial scan, sitting at the table, very cute girl (cute in guys terms are far different than cute in girls terms). Then we stand up to move tables and I see the bump. Whoa! Wait! This girl’s features are way too thin to have a pudge like that… Unless, she just had a kid. I let the night go by, and play off glances to the stomach running the scenarios through my head until my buddy’s wife (the one that invited her) asked if I’d be interested in her. Supposedly she was interested. That’s when I just had to ask “Did she have a kid?” Turns out she’s never had a kid, so at least this time I know it’s just pudge.

So this is where I leave it up to the women to comment. I think we would all like to hear from you to answer this dilemma men have. How do we conclude if it’s a baby bump or a few extra pounds? Should we just go up to every girl we think could be pudgy or pregnant and just ask them if they’d like some pickles and ice cream? Wait, that won’t work, because the pregnant girl will want it to satisfy some craving, and the pudgy one will want it because she’s hungry. See? We need help in this area.