The Bears Cave

Weekend With a 2011 Camaro

2011-06-21T11:36:00.010-05:00

When I got the email I thought it was just spam. There’s no way someone is just going to give me a vehicle to drive for the weekend AND tickets to the Gold Cup games that were at Cowboys Stadium June 5^th. I did a little poking and prodding the girl with Fleishman-Hillard that emailed me. Seemed very legit, and when I got the call from a lady with GM I found out that I would get the chance to drive a 2011 Chevrolet Camaro. Everything was set, and ready to go for the weekend. Friday afternoon I coordinated with the gentleman that braved the heat to drop the vehicle off, and although I had to forgo my lunch break to drive home, it was well worth it. Rounding the corner and seeing a brand new red Camaro with flat black racing stripes down the middle it’s every little boys, grown into a man’s Hot Wheels dream come true.

Being a tech/gadget guy, the very first thing that I noticed about the Camaro was the heads up display (HUD). It was a focus point of the weekend. Everyone that got in the car it was the first thing that I pointed out, besides the fact I was driving a brand new Camaro. It was pretty sweet having your speed displayed on your windshield, along with the song names when the music changed on my favorite XM station. Really screws with people when playing the "Name that tune" game. I was also very surprised at the gas mileage I was getting. I'm used to driving a 2006 Yukon so 15-16 MPG is the norm for me. I was averaging in the mid 20's with this car, although I'm sure it didn't help every time I would open her up on the highway for a few seconds to show off the giddy-up-and-go this vehicle has. It has a lot especially for a V6 (which I totally thought it was a V8).

After work, and showing it off to coworkers, the first place I took it to was to a buddies house where he and I have had a standing debate on who did better re-innovating a classic design into the new model; GM with the Camaro or Dodge with the Challenger? We were leaning to the Challenger, but after test driving this beast we have definitely been swayed. Later that night my sisters boyfriend came over and I let him give the vehicle for a spin. He actually drives a late 90's, early 2000 model Camaro that he's spent a lot of money customizing. After his drive all he had to say was "It's a really nice car!" I think he was in shock.

Saturday I decided to test it's capacity. I met up with my friend Carl and his girlfriend, we'll call her Doink, and went to test out the new Top Golf in Allen. I believe my text to him was "I'll bring the new Camaro over and we can find out if 3 people and 2 sets of golf clubs can fit ." Yes... Yes they can. We might have had to play a little game of Tetris to fit the golf bags in, but 3 people did fit comfortably in the car. After 5 hours of Top Golf, we headed back and Carl noticed what I noticed the night before. The lights on the dash and in the interior of the vehicle were very cool. It felt like sitting in a cockpit with the lights on the door panels with the blue and red color combination on the gauge clusters.

Sunday was the big day, the big reason I got the vehicle in the first place. The 2011 Concacaf Gold Cup games with Mexico vs. Costa Rica and Cuba vs. El Salvador at Cowboys Stadium. I was actually excited about going to this because I've never actually seen a giant soccer game like that before. Earlier in the day I made a stop by my parents house to show the car to them. After the initial shock of seeing me drive up in a sports car, I let them both drive it. Ever want to see something funny? Put my mom behind the wheel of a sports car. She was so nervous driving it, but they both really liked the car. Thumbs up all the way around.

Yet with all the excitement of going to the Gold Cup games, and the phone calls from the PR girl that first emailed me... I was torn. It was the NBA Finals, and as we all know... the Dallas Mavericks were in it. I felt that I had it planned out. The Mexico vs. Costa Rica game was at 5pm, so that should give me enough time to get out there, enjoy the soccer match, then catch the final half of the Mav's game.That's where my terrible planning came in. I didn't realize that the ticket box closed at 3:30pm. My date for the game didn't get over to my place until 4. Major Fail! But that didn't short my weekend with a very fun vehicle to drive. If you ever get a chance. I would totally recommend driving the Camaro. Very fun car, and definitely a head turner.

To learn more about what Chevy is doing check out their Driving the Heartland website at www.drivingtheheartland.com

Also follow Chevy on Twitter @ChevyTexan

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2011-05-18T16:29:00.009-05:00

My new job has kept me quite busy, and has actually allowed me to do some traveling. In a past life/job I used to travel all the time. I lived out of a suitcase, and just got accustomed to it. You know that scene in Up in the Air where George Clooney scans the security lines, the people waiting to go through and slides in behind the Asians because he knows they're the fastest to get through. I too learned the art of getting through TSA security lines, and it would definitely come in handy this day.

Back in my traveling days (this is going to date me a bit) I used to always blog on MySapce about my experiences and observations on the road. For your reading convenience I have re-posted two of my favorite ones here, and here. It was common for me to be gone nearly a month at a time just to return for a week, and be back out on the road again. Most of the time I got to fly, but on those unfortunate moments I'd have to drive. Longest drive I ever did solo was from Fort Worth to Atlanta, Atlanta to Norfolk, Virginia, Norfolk to Pittsburg, then finishing the trip out from Pittsburg to Akron, OH where I got to fly home. Saw a lot of the country, but holy cow that was a beating. Luckily I'm not with that company anymore, and luckily this company is completely on board with flying.

With my job, I get to go down to Austin once a month for some personal one-on-one time with our marketing department and my boss, the Commercial Marketing Director. I'm not going to complain because I love Austin. It's always nice to get down there and work with the people I talk to everyday. I've been down there, in this capacity 4 or 5 times already, and each time it's like riding a bike... I slide right back into my traveling experience to judge time for parking, security lines, boarding, et cetera. On this day, the traveling gods decided to test my patience, and they almost won.

The morning started out like any other travel morning. I knew what time my flight was, and I had already decided that since it was a only a day trip I was going to park at the terminal (bam, 10 more minutes of sleep available). I like to fly American Airlines for convenience of where the airport is located and it's just what I'm most comfortable with. If you fly American Airlines, you'll typically fly out of DFW's C terminal; better known as American's domestic terminal, so usually they're always on the ball due to the amount of traffic that goes in and out of there. When I get there I park in the middle garage, since my gate was C-15, walk in to get my ticket and I see there's a bit of a line for security. Still nothing out of the norm. It's a Friday morning, you have business travelers flying home, weekend travelers getting away, completely understood. I get my ticket, start to walk down the line to get to the end. I walk... I walk... I keep walking until what feels like 100 yards. The line is two rows deep and when I find the end, it's just a jumbled mass of people. I don't panic. I still have an hour for my flight. I know there's more than one security line in each terminal. I'll go to another one.

I casually walk to the end of the terminal (C-35) because I'm thinking maybe the lines are smaller here. They are not. Again, I don't panic. I still have almost an hour for my flight. At this time I'm applauding my decision to park at the gate instead of the outside lots. I decide "OK, I'll just go to the other security check-in at the beginning of the terminal. It's got to be shorter!" I walk, slightly brisker this time, past the middle security point (which hasn't changed) to get to the security check-in at C-1. No different. Long ass line. Now I'm slightly beginning to panic. After all the walking I've burned off 15 minutes and now I have a little under 45 minutes until my flight. Boarding is beginning in 10 minutes. Best thing for me to do is go back to the security check-in closest to my gate and attempt to wait it out. I walk back to the middle security check-in and this is when the panic sets it.

When I initially got in line there was myself and a guy with his wife (at least I'm assuming it was his wife), by this time they weren't more than 5 feet from where we started. I asked the TSA agent how long this check point was running and she informed me "it's taking about an hour and a half to get through. We only have one security lane running." WHAT?!? You've got to be kidding me. What the F am I going to do now? I'm thinking about going out to my car, and driving over to Terminal A, but then I don't want to have to take a Terminal Connect bus when I get back, so I go outside and see about 20 people waiting at the Terminal Connect bus stop. I glance around in panic (40 minutes to my flight) and see a cab driver standing by his car. I approach him and ask "how much to get to Terminal A?" "$7" he responds in his best spanglish. I give him $15 and say "Get me to gate A-30 as fast as you can!"

I'll give the guy credit. He did his best New York taxi experience impersonation weaving in and out of traffic, coming to a screeching stop in front of the security check point at the end of terminal A. I briskly walk inside and find there's still a line, but it's less than a quarter the size of terminal C and they have 2 lanes running. I do something I rarely ever do, but I sneak up to the Priority Access line and immediately get to the TSA agent. I ask her "I have 20 minutes to my flight out of Terminal C, Gate 15, what's the likelyhood of making it?" She looks at her watch, then turns back to look at the security lines then replies with "If you don't get stopped up in security, you'll be fine." This is where I bust into action. In a flash I had my shoes off, belt off, everything emptied into a bin, laptop slid out across my bag and I was through security in no time. I grabbed all my stuff, ran in my socks with my shoes and belt in hand up the escalator to catch the Skylink, where I made it in just enough time (think sliding through the doors as they were closing time). Now I can get dressed.

Skylink has 2 stops within each terminal. I checked my flight status on my phone; Still on-time, still Terminal C, gate 15. The automated Skylink attendant says "Terminal C, gates 1-20." This is my stop. I'm dressed, and ready. I have about 5 gates to walk, and I'm there. As I approach the gate somethings off. There's no-one there, but the plane is still there. I get closer and I see Las Vegas, departing at 9:30. Did I miss the flight? I walk up to the gate agent and ask "Did I miss the flight to Austin at 7:45?" She types up some stuff and says "No, you're flight was moved to gate 35!" My brain just completely shuts down in frustration at this point. My only option is to run. This is the first time ever I've had to run through a terminal. I was even passing those stupid terminal carts that shuttle old people, fat people, and old and fat people around. 20 gates later, I arrive. I walk up to the gate, give my ticket to the agent, she scans it and I finally board the plane. I promptly take my seat, ask the attendant for some napkins, because I'm sweating and want to dry off. All I want do now is throw on some music on my iPhone and forget all that transpired. I left my headphones in the car!

Pudgy or Pregnant?

2011-02-08T16:03:00.006-06:00

I know that I haven’t blogged in a while, but I wanted to take this time to point out a struggle that men go through. Now, this is going to sound shallow to some of you, and partly bad on my part, but damnit… this is a conundrum that we all have to work through and I completely hope women comment on this to help give guidance in this struggle. And yes, that struggle is determining whether the girl is Pudgy or Pregnant.

How did this come about? Well, it’s been a complication that you start to recognize more as you get older; at least it wasn’t back when I was in high school. But, just recently I have been kind of noticing this girl that works out almost all the same days that I do. We’ve never exchanged more than simple pleasantries, and the occasional eye contact with the hello smile/look. Approaching women at the gym and determining if they’re single or not could honestly be a post on its own, but for now, let’s stick to pudgy or pregnant. When I first noticed her there my initial thought was she was pregnant, and working off the baby weight. Over time, as expected, she lost the pudge and it caused me to doubt the pregnancy thoughts because it happened so fast, which was until yesterday.

I got to the gym, was half-way through my workout and I see her walking across the gym. Initial glance was nothing more than the “oh she’s here today” then later on when I got closer I saw the belly. Looks just like the girls in our group of friends that are 3 months, or more, along. I was confused! I had just seen her last week and there were no signs of pregnancy potential. So it made me think about all the times before when I’ve felt awkward about approaching a girl and congratulating her on her pregnancy, or playing off the pudge like a nice, respectful guy should.

Hell, this very scenario happened to me at the bar a few weeks ago. Me and some friends went to see a buddy’s band play and his wife had a friend of hers there. Initial scan, sitting at the table, very cute girl (cute in guys terms are far different than cute in girls terms). Then we stand up to move tables and I see the bump. Whoa! Wait! This girl’s features are way too thin to have a pudge like that… Unless, she just had a kid. I let the night go by, and play off glances to the stomach running the scenarios through my head until my buddy’s wife (the one that invited her) asked if I’d be interested in her. Supposedly she was interested. That’s when I just had to ask “Did she have a kid?” Turns out she’s never had a kid, so at least this time I know it’s just pudge.

So this is where I leave it up to the women to comment. I think we would all like to hear from you to answer this dilemma men have. How do we conclude if it’s a baby bump or a few extra pounds? Should we just go up to every girl we think could be pudgy or pregnant and just ask them if they’d like some pickles and ice cream? Wait, that won’t work, because the pregnant girl will want it to satisfy some craving, and the pudgy one will want it because she’s hungry. See? We need help in this area.

Rangers Yankees ALCS Game 6

2010-11-10T11:09:00.009-06:00

I know it's not a very exciting title to this post, but this is all about my experience being able to go to the Game that clinched the Rangers a spot into their first World Series in franchise history. It all started off so randomly. I had no intentions of being able to go to a game because, well, I'm broke. Yet a good friend of mine called me the day before the game and asked "Would you like to go to the game tomorrow?"My only response was "Does a whore like sex? Of course I'd like to go!"

I wasn't expecting much as far as seating since we decided to pick up tickets so late. But my friend, lets call him James, was able to snag two seats in the Lexus club. Funny thing about that is I could swear these were seats right next to where I had previously seen Cliff Lee pitch against the Yankees during the season. A game where I witnessed a 6-0 lead get squandered in the 7th and 8th. So I was really hoping not to have a repeat performance. James and I had arrived to the game a little bit early. Not early enough to watch batting practice, but early enough to watch the players warm up and stretch before introductions. We did have a few brief early downpours of rain, and the constant battle of throwing the pancho on and off, but the fans were dialed in and the rain didn't stop anyone from sitting outside to witness this game.

To no surprise during player introductions everyone on the Yankees were booed, none more than Alex Rodriguez of course, but in the early stages of this game what was so amazing to me was how few Yankees fans there were near me. Rewind the clock a few months when I was last there to see the Rangers v. Yankees I'd easily guess the stadium had about 40% Yankees fans there. Today? There might have been maybe 10% and that's an over estimation. For once I forget any rants on bandwagon fans, and my annoyance with them, because this time they are rooting for my team. Player introductions over. National Anthem done. Air Force F-16 fly by passed. Time to play ball!

Aside from the first inning where Elvis Andrus scores on an infield fielders choice the game was played close up until the 5th inning. When A-Rod scored off a wild pitch from Colby Lewis in the top of the 5th, I wasn't moving. I have a bit of a problem with sports superstitions. If things are going well, I try not to move or do something out of the norm. If things are going bad, I try to change whatever I'm doing as a fan hoping to affect the juju of the game (although I do know it doesn't matter what I do, it's just a habit). Going into the bottom of the 5th the game was tied 1-1. We had been texting some friends that were at the game, trying to plan a time to meet, and at the time I had no intentions of doing anything until the 7th inning stretch. Then we go into the bottom of the 5th.

With Mitch Moreland on thrid, and Josh Hamilton on 1st (A strategy from Yankees Manager Joe Girardi all game to walk the hot Hamilton bat), Vlad steps to the plate and the sections around me start to get electric. Chants of "Come... On... Vlad...Y..." started picking up steam. They continued all the way up to Vlad hitting his 2 run double where the crowd went crazy. You can see from this video I took at that time. Then as a fitting encore to Vlad's double Nelson Cruz decides to put his stamp on the game and crack a 2 run home-run. Now I can relax a little. So this is when we decide to run downstairs to meet up with our friends. This is where we lucked out massively.

As we were trying to find the friends we knew that were there, we ran into some other friends that just happened to have 2 empty seats on their row, which happened to be about 28 rows behind the Rangers dugout. There's no way we're going to pass up sitting there. Closer to the field, closer to the action, closer to the energy! The crowd was very different down there as opposed to up where we were. Could be because we are now winning this game, and with every strikeout, and every Rangers hit, everyone around was high-fiving each other. It was awesome being there, all the way up until the point I realized I left all my cups, and gear in our old seats. So I timed my escape somewhere around the 8th inning to make it back for the Rangers at bat.

I got back to our "new" seats just in time to see the Rangers get out of the 8th and watch Neftali Feliz make his walk to the mound. My iPhone was already dying from taking photos, and videos all game, and I prayed that I had just enough juice to make it through this inning. I wasn't going to miss filming this. Curtis Granderson. Out! Robinson Cano. Out! Up walks Alex Rodriguez. First thought in my head "How fitting would it be that for the Rangers to advance to the world series it would be a Rangers rookie to strikeout A-Rod after calling this team a bunch of kids upon his departure?" I will let my excitement come across in the video posted below of the final pitch, and final out of the American League Championship Series (note you can tell when I'm excited because I go all shake camera).

Being a long time Rangers fan, having grown up in this area and supporting this team through thick and thin, it was an AMAZING experience to be able to be a part of this game. This game has easily taken over the top spot of Best Sporting Event I've Ever attended. That spot was previously held by an Ohio State v. Michigan game that I attended in Columbus, OH with my dad. The only way that would still be the number 1 slot is if Ohio State had actually won that game. This game just had so much more too it. Local team, Championship game, history being made before my eyes.

Wade Phillips Gets the Boot

2010-11-08T14:18:00.007-06:00

After a nauseating loss in Green Bay (45-7), compacted by the nauseating season where the Cowboys are off to one of their worst seasons ever (1-7), Head Coach Wade Phillips has gotten the axe from Jerry Jones. This also marks the first time that Jerry Jones has ever fired a coach mid season.

A little about the legacy of Wade Phillips. During his time in Dallas he had a 35-23 record, and two NFC East Titles. Where that doesn't sound bad, if you're a fan of this team, those are just stats. We know what we saw on the field, and we know that it wasn't good. This season alone it has been more of an embarrassment to watch Cowboys games than the Buffalo Bills. At least they expected to be bad! If it was ever possible for a team to go backwards, the Cowboys have done that.

This season has been a season of one problem, compounded by another. Poor offensive line play, stupid penalties, injuries, etc. It didn't seem to matter what the coaches said, or tried to do (if anything) this team has had a horrible lack of focus. Or so it seems by the performance on the field each week. The offensive line that was so good for the last 3 years all of a sudden showed their age (Slow off the ball, late getting blocks, or lapses in protections and pickups), and I think a lot of that is why Tony Romo had looked so tentative at the beginning of the season. Don't think he was tentative? Look at the film. He was never fully comfortable holding the ball for more than 3 seconds, and rarely took any shot down-field to stretch the defense because he knew he didn't have the time to wait.

So who is taking the reigns now that Wade's gone? Well... that responsibility goes to the supposed head coach in waiting, Jason Garrett. Before you mumble and grumble, I actually support this. This is exactly what we need as a fan. Jerry Jones has done everything he could to ensure that Garrett stays here, yet, as a fan we witness an anemic offense that cannot move the ball, or stalls out constantly. But this is Garrett's chance to show Jerry Jones, and us fans, why we should trust in him.

Jason Garrett now has 8 weeks to prove why he's Head Coach ready. We've all assumed that Jerry expects him to become the next Head Coach, but luckily we get a preview of this for the remaining half of the season. If he turns around a 1-7 start to a 4-4 finish without getting blown out, or barely winning with last second heroics, I'd fully expect Garrett to get the job. But if Garrett cannot turn this thing around, and gets us beat around more than we already have it's time to look outside.

Yet with the way that this season is going overall, there could be several coach openings across the NFL and that's not a good thing for the Cowboys. For once, the Cowboys might not be the best place for a coach to go. Coming in here you have the personality of Jerry Jones to deal with. You will not have ultimate control of your team, or your coach selection. Did you know that Jimmy Johnson was the only Cowboys coach to ever be given control of his coaching staff? With that you probably lose any option of enticing a Bill Cowher, or Belleck, or Gruden from coming in. Jerry will want a puppet, and unfortunately that means that I don't believe this team will ever truly turn around until Jerry Jones passes away.

So Garrett? Show us what you can do. If you've ever wanted a legitimate chance to become a Head Coach this is the ultimate resume builder opportunity. First things first... Regroup this team! Get the Cowboys back to playing sound football. Then just make sure that we aren't putting an embarrassment out on the field with that Star on the helmet. That Star used to mean something special, and I hope we can get back to that.

Answering My Own Questions

2010-09-16T14:26:00.004-05:00

Well hello there blog world. Can you believe it? It's a posting from me? It's only been... whoops... 3 months since my last legitimate blog post. Now that I looked it up, I really have been bad about blogging. Will you accept my apology with this very random, all over the map rant about what's been going on? No? Well, too bad because I'm going to rant it all over the place anyways.

So where have I been?
I have no good excuse. I've been right here doing the same daily grind as I've always been doing. Get up, go to work, go home, go to the gym, play volleyball, go out, go to bed. I don't do this everyday, but if you ball it all up into a nut shell that's about what I've been doing. Don't like the excuse? Too bad, because there are more coming.

So why haven't I been blogging?
Frankly because I haven't felt like it. Do you know how much I put into each and every blog? If it's a sports story, I actually try to look up stats, and do some trending analysis on teams and players. If it's a personal life blog I usually feel like I need something special to have happened for me to blog about, and quite honestly I did not want to bore everyone with talks about my crappy job. Additional Excuse warning (that I have already been fully called out on); but I am superstitious (See this previously written example as proof), and as the Rangers have been playing well, I didn't want to write a blog about them and catch the flak for bringing on their demise! Weak. I know.

So why blog now?
Why not? Blogging, and writing is sort of therapeutic at times. In fact I even set up a new blog called 'Frustrated Job Seeker' with Wordpress because honestly that's where all of my frustrations have lied. Even then, I haven't done anything more than secure it with Wordpress. I haven't done anything on there but say "Hey, here's what I plan on doing with this blog!" Ultimately I plan on using it as a portal for me to broadcast to the world wide web how annoying it is to find a job in this market. Speaking of... everyone can just shut their mouths about the job market getting better this year because I've been searching for an entire year.

So what do I have to rant about?
I do believe that I've already ranted on a few of them, but for those 2 of you that are still reading this post I am going to have a series of random postings that I've already started typing that are going to be full on, double rainbow (almost triple rainbow) rants on each individual rant.

So what do YOU have to look forward to?
This guy bitching and moaning about: Job Hunting, Dallas Cowboys, Texas Rangers, Twitter and the Social Media Douchery and some unwritten posts that I'm sure I will need to talk about like the upcoming trip to Vegas next week for a friends wedding.

How to Poop at Work

2010-07-15T13:55:00.001-05:00

I'll let the video explain.

Old Spice Commercial

2010-07-02T11:11:00.002-05:00

I'm sorry, but someone needs to congratulate Old Spice's marketing department for their recent string of ad campaigns. They are purely genius, hilarious, and on pace with today's social society. Just caught this recent one. Enjoy.

Conan Decends on Tulsa, We Ascend to the OK State

2010-05-18T21:55:00.001-05:00

Last weekend myself, Big and Brown decided to take a little road trip to see Conan O'Brien's "Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour" in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Why Tulsa you ask? Well, simply because Dallas and Austin were already sold out and Tulsa was the next closest city we could make it to. It's not like we thought "Hell yeah, let's see him in Tulsa! That city is so much better than Dallas or Austin!" No! But we did end up having a pleasant time and the show was hilarious.

Big and Brown started their drive to Tulsa around noon on Saturday because I was committed to play in a charity golf tournament that morning. I'm not sure what happened in the four hours they were in the car alone, but when they picked me up at the airport it seemed like they had done a Vulcan Mind-meld and their brains were one. They were also very touchy-feely with each other. Very awkward, and uncomfortable, but I guess this is the longest Brown has been away from his lady friend, and Big was the closest body available.

I ended up flying up to meet them. Actually it was sort of nostalgic for me, reminded me of a past life, past job when I used to travel a lot for work and spent a lot of time in airports. It got to the point where I had security screenings down to a science, much like it was portrayed in 'Up in the Air' with George Clooney. To my surprise my trip started off by getting bumped into First Class. Supposedly they had a lot of missed connections that they were putting on my flight, and somehow I got bumped to first where I even got the draw of meeting a very nice, attractive girl that was traveling back to Tulsa from LSU since their classes were done for the semester.

After drudging through some very awkward pauses in conversation at the baggage claim, her answering my cell when Big and Brown called, we parted ways after exchanging numbers and I got into Browns car to a smattering of "What the Fuck took you so long?" and "I've had to piss for like an hour now!" We made our way to the hotel, checked in, and I started to super phone some places to eat on the way to the show. We walked our way down to Brady Theater where we realized that Tulsa has a WNBA team, and it seems the Tulsa Shock is a big attraction for this town. After about 5 minutes of dismay that there were so many people going to a WNBA game we crossed the railroad tracks, debated if we were going the right direction, scanning for quick escape routes, we see Brady Theater. Right across the street is the Mexicali Border Cafe so we put our names on the list and wait outside making our own personal commentary to the caliber of people we've been surrounded by. Is Conan O'Brien to the Gingers as Jon Stewart is to the Jews?

After we eat our food in just enough time to get to the show we walk across the street, get to our seats and just continue our amazement of our surroundings. Particularly the thicker, buxom blond two rows up that's openly flirting with the college kid in front of us. I can't forget to mention his parents were sitting next to him. I don't know remember how their conversation started, but I remember her saying "I worked real hard for these tickets!" Where my initial response was "I bet she's a stripper." It was confirmed (in our minds) when her husband, yes I said husband, showed up and he was easily 350 lbs. Not to mention the tickets were $50 each. Factor that each dance is $20, 3 minutes a dance, subtract the house fee, maybe she's right. She did have to work hard to pay for the tickets!

The lights dim and a very recognizable comes over the speakers to introduce the opening act, Reggie Watts. Out comes a man with a full on flowing afro and beard. If you've never heard of Reggie Watts, or seen the man, you must look him up (or click on the link I provided). His act is a blend of working different accents with his own musical compositions of looping his human beat boxing. I think he did about 3 songs, but his biggest song he did was called "Fuck Shit Stack." (NSFW due to language). The song was genius, and hilarious, he had a great way of presenting it, and stage presence with his body language and on stage antics. Brown also pointed out to me that behind us was a mother that was standing over her son ear muffing him as the dad stood there drinking his beverage laughing.

After Reggie Watts was done, that same familiar voice (we figured it out, Andy Richter) introduced the "Legally Prohibited Band" that was pretty much the same band from Conan's Late Night/ Tonight Show band, sans Max Weinberg. They proceeded to play two songs and where LaBamba and the horns went out into the audience and played some great music. Then the lights go out and a video pops up on the screen of a sketch with Conan and what he was doing two months prior to the live show tour. Now Conan comes out, beard and all. The show itself was a mixture of his unique brand of comedy everyone's familiar with from his TV show, and a comedy rock show. There were short video sketches, Conan being as goofy as he wants to be, giant inflatable bats (From a Meatloaf tour), audience exchanges and a lot of indirect stabs at some guy who must not be named, NBC executives, and his suspension from television, radio and even internet.

Conan brought out some of his familiar bits from his show like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the Walker Texas Ranger Lever... sorry, I mean the Chuck Norris Rural Policeman Handle, and the Masturbating Bear... sorry, I mean the Self Pleasuring Panda (which of course this guy has a personal affinity for). Deon Cole, one of Conan's writers, came out and did his own short set and Andy Richter had his own little segment. Something that Conan's been doing at every city, to personalize the show, is bring a local celebrity on stage with him. Dallas got Dirk, and earlier Reggie Watts teased that we were getting Kings of Leon. That boy got jokes. No, in Tulsa we got Hanson. Fucking HANSON! Although I will say they were not bad, but this was a perfect opportunity to get another beverage. After the last song, and everyone went off stage to a standing ovation, I decided to start a "USA! USA! USA!" chant that was sort of the theme of night that carried through the entire crowd until Conan and the band came back on stage with Conan saying "Tulsa you got me with the USA chant."

In all the show was well worth the trip. It was fun. It was funny. It was hilarious. Well worth it, and I'm curious how Conan will format his new show that begins on TBS in November. Guess we'll have to wait and see. The rest of the night was spent wandering aimlessly through the streets of downtown Tulsa. Bar hopping from neon sign to neon sign as we slowly walked our way back to the hotel. One bar I had a my ass blatantly grabbed by this drunk girl that came in with a group of guys. Another bar there was a Bachelorette party that had lost the Bachelorette. So they did NOT care about my half assed attempt of flirting. In that same bar, Brown was trying to get me to hit on this cougar that was clearly out of her element in this college-esque bar. As she passed by us one of the guys in that group looked back at another and told his buddy "I'm going to fuck your mom tonight!" I left it at that.

The night ended with a with us ordering a large Munchie pizza from Mary Janes Pizza; Mainly because as we arrived back at our hotel the pizza delivery guy was wearing a Bret "The Hitman" Hart T-shirt. So we ordered our own, then the bourbon took over and we crashed. The next morning we slowly arose, packed and began our four hour journey back to Dallas, back to normalcy.

Letter to Bud Selig

2010-05-11T23:58:00.012-05:00

As the Rangers lost a close one to the Oakland A's in 13 innings (of course that wouldn't have happened if Ron would have brought in Neftali sooner, but that's not what I'm writing about) there's still always a looming problem with the Rangers. No, it's not that their offensive stats rank the Rangers in the bottom half of the League but the whole mess that is Hicks Sports Group. If you've been living under a rock, or just never pay attention to professional baseball in this city; Long story short is that Hicks put the team up for sale. Chuck Greenberg put together a group of inverstors with Nolan Ryan to purchase the team from Tom Hicks. Tom Hick's creditors throw a wrench into the deal due to property disputes and now the Rangers are left in limbo.

So why am I writing a letter? Because there is a clause in Major League Baseball's Charter called the "best interest of the game" where MLB can claim ownership of the Rangers and push through the sale to Greenberg/Ryan. How can he do this? Well the "best interest" clause has been used before to push through sanctions with drug testing to try and put a band-aid on a severed limb. Now their still working on the drug policy, but it was in the "best interest" for MLB to act and move for public perception. What the clause will do in this situation is allow Bud Selig tell Hicks' creditors to f' off because the agreement isn't between Monarch Alternative Capital and MLB. So here it goes;

Dear Allen H. "Bud" Selig:

I am a resident of the Dallas/ Fort Worth metroplex, born and raised. Being that I have grown up in this area I have been a fan of all the professional, and minor league teams in the area. As I grew up playing just about every sport baseball has always been held close to the heart. Attending Rangers games at the old Arlington Stadium. Watching on of the greatest pitchers in major league baseball, Nolan Ryan, work the mound and frustrate batters. Seeing the All-Star game at the new Rangers Ballpark that opened in 1995. But with all the great memories we fans still remember all the bad. Things like all of theaverage, or losing baseball in the 80's, 90's and 2000's. Jose Conseco bouncing the ball bounce off his head. The strike in 1994 that cut the MLB season short. Through the good and the bad, the fans have been there.

Now in our time of need, we need Major League Baseball to step up to the plate (that saying kind of fits here) and stop the only man in sports who could give Al Davis a run for his money of being one of the worst franchise owners in professional sports. Please invoke the "best interest" clause to prevent Tom Hicks' creditors from railroading this deal with the Chuck Greenberg group. For once in our lifetime as a Rangers fan we feel like we actually have something to look forward to with new ownership/new blood in the organization. But the soul sucker of a man that is Tom Hicks has stood in the way and robbed all of us in truly being able to enjoy professional baseball in the metroplex. Please tell Monarch Alternative Capital where they can put their debts and then maybe give them all a golden pass to attend any baseball game they want as long as they have to wear a shirt that says "I tried to ruin baseball!"

This is a simple plea of help. I look forward to hearing your decision in the news
soon.

Sincerely,

The Tobra

10 Most Annoying Things to do to Yourself

2010-04-27T09:04:00.003-05:00

10) Trip yourself

Immediate Pain Factor - 1
Long Term Annoyance - 1
Comedic Embarrassment - 9

It's happened to us all. We've all been walking up some stairs at school, the office, apartment complex, you name it. Or it could just be that "random" change in elevation on the sidewalk, or the em-famous turf monster on the field (Sports peeps will get that one). You could have missed the step, not seen the giant pot hole in front of you, forgot you were wearing flip flops; Just about any number of occasions. But as you can see there's no immediate pain involved in most instances. Other than some bruising, maybe some scrapes the long term annoyance factor is slim. Where this shines is in the comedic embarrassment. Come on... you know it's funny when you witness someone face plant into the stairs.

9) Hit yourself in the head
Immediate Pain Factor - 4
Long Term Annoyance - 2
Comedic Embarrassment - 7

This is another one that can happen in multiple ways. Someone opening up a door as you're bending over to pick something up, something sliding off the top shelf in the closet, or taking a relaxing ride on horseback through the country and you forget to look forward as that low hanging branch pops you unexpectedly (What? That hasn't happened to you?). This self inflicted annoyance has a little more immediate pain because it sucks getting hit on the head. Barring serious injury you really don't have too much extended pain, and depending on how you hit yourself it has good potential for comedy. Example being; a friend of mine someone knocked himself out sitting in his own recliner watching TV with his remote. Impressive isn't it?

8) Bite your lip
Immediate Pain Factor - 5
Long Term Annoyance - 6
Comedic Embarrassment - 3

I really wanted to push this one in the top 5, but I think what held it back was the frequency of biting your lip. Do not confuse biting the inside of your mouth with biting your lips. Either of these are very annoying. You could be one of those people that has a nervous tick where you bite your lips and happen to accidentally chomp a little too hard. Maybe mistaken you lips for part of your sandwich. Who knows. But anything healing around the mouth has an additional annoyance. I feel it's about average in the immediate pain factor, and really there's not a whole lot of comedy from biting your lip.

7) Knock your funny bone
Immediate Pain Factor - 7
Long Term Annoyance - 2
Comedic Embarrassment - 5

First I have to say it's the dumbest thing ever that they call that area of your elbow the Funny Bone. Technically it's not even a bone that you're hitting, but your Ulnar Nerve. I know I gave this one a little higher on the immediate pain factor because I know a lot of people that it really hurts when they hit that "bone," in fact, I have a cousin that would faint every time his funny bone was hit. You can do this in multiple ways, and I'm sure we've all done it once. It's not a fun time, but luckily the pain goes away pretty quickly. Comedic-ally? Depends on how you hit that area. Maybe you're jersey-shore-fist-pumping-it to the new Lady Gaga song and bang it on the entertainment center? I don't know... I might have just made that one up.

6) Bite the inside of your mouth
Immediate Pain Factor - 6
Long Term Annoyance - 7
Comedic Embarrassment - 3

I'm sure some of you will say this is the same as biting your lip, but it so is not! I'm talking about the inside of your mouth at the back where your incisors are. If you don't know what I'm talking about then it'd be the area in your mouth that you constantly chomp on by accident when eating a chewy piece of steak. As with biting your lips, the immediate pain factor is slightly higher than average but a little more painful because you can really take a chomp out of your mouth if you're chewing hard enough. What pushes this ahead of biting your lips is as it's trying to heal it swells up, and you almost always bite it again. What held this out of the top 5 is the comedic aspect. Since, as with biting your lips, this usually happens without someone around you actually knowing, it's dependent upon your reaction.

5) Drop any sizable weight on your toes
Immediate Pain Factor - 6
Long Term Annoyance - 6
Comedic Embarrassment - 6

Welcome to the top 5! Looks like I ranked this one with the devil's number, but aside from that it doesn't matter what the weight might be, this one hurts. The most painful way I've done this to myself was when a 45lbs weight fell off the rack on onto my big toe. Not Pleasant! You could have dropped a couch, a dresser, or the box of all the the gifts your girlfriend ever got from her ex boyfriends (Come on, you know that wasn't really an accident!). This annoyance has it all. Immediate pain depending on how heavy the object is. Long term annoyance because lets face it, anything with you do to your feet suck for a while because you walk funny until it's healed, or the swelling has gone down.

4) Smash your finger
Immediate Pain Factor - 7
Long Term Annoyance - 6
Comedic Embarrassment - 7

Just with smashing your toes, smashing your fingers definitely had to be in the top 5. What helped push this ahead of your toes is the pain can be more immediate since you probably wont have shoes to dampen the blow, and there is a higher probability for comedic embarrassment. You can hit your finger with a hammer on a nail, get it caught in a rat trap, shut them in a door or smash them between two face masks. There is a number of scenarios. Because it's your fingers, it's one of those pains that you witness happening and you already know it's going to be painful before the pain actually sets it. Depending on what you do to yourself, the comedic factor and immediate pain could go higher.

3) Bite your tongue
Immediate Pain Factor - 8
Long Term Annoyance - 8
Comedic Embarrassment - 4

Here's another one that has to do with your mouth. I might have put this a little higher up than some people, because this just recently happened to me. I was chewing a piece of food and next thing I know I bit into something that wasn't my food. I took a nice chunk out of the side of my tongue and it was very annoying. I actually had a friend who played basketball with his tongue out and just happened to catch a forearm to the jaw and chomped through his tongue. Depending on where you bite yourself depends on the amount of annoyance, but just as with your mouth, lips or anything that has to heal in this area it takes time, and you're more than likely to re-injure yourself. That moves it to number 3.

2) Stub your toe
Immediate Pain Factor - 8
Long Term Annoyance - 7
Comedic Embarrassment - 8

This one had to be in the top 2. Maybe for some people this would be their number 1 but this is very, very, very annoying. It happens to everyone. If you say otherwise you're a liar! You could be walking around in the dark, turning the corner and kick the dresser, or forgot that you pushed the coffee table out that extra inch so now your spacial environment has been thrown off. Any way this happens it sucks, it's painful, and annoying. Sometimes you can stub it hard enough you crack, or rip your nail off, so the immediate pain can be immense. If you happen to be that unlucky fool that rips your toe you'll probably make this your number 1. But the pain on this, is nothing compared to the pain involved in number 1.

1) Rack yourself
Immediate Pain Factor - 10
Long Term Annoyance - 5
Comedic Embarrassment - 10

I know this probably only pertains to the guys, but I know some girls will admit that you can still get hit in crotch and it hurts. As a guy, this is probably the most painful thing to happen to them. What's the most annoying part about racking yourself is as you're curled up in a ball, on the floor quivering in pain, your buddies are dying in laughter. You have tears of agony, while they have tears of joy. I don't think any guy would question this being number 1. The pain a guy feels when he's suffered a swift blow to the nuts is by far worse than anything else that can happen to you. What put this over the edge and secured it the top spot was the fact that everyone loves seeing someone kicked in the nuts, or in this case we'll just go with the basic ball humor.

Redskins Geared for 2004 NFC Championship

2010-04-21T17:15:00.001-05:00

Yeah, that's right, you read the title right. The Redskins have been very busy this offseason, and the team they are assembling look to be great competitors for the 2004 NFC Championship.

It all started one cold winter-y night when the call was made, and papers were signed to bring in Mike Shanahan to take reigns of this team. As a Cowboy fan I was pissed this happened. There have been many speculations (at least here) that Shanahan was holding out on job offers for the Cowboys vacancy. With the play of the Cowboys this season, particularly securing the NFC East and beating the Eagles in the first round, Wade gave himself a stay of execution. Personally I agreed with keeping Wade on (don't believe me? Here's proof of what I wrote before the ex tension happened) but secretly I was fantasizing about a Cowboys team with Shanahan calling the shots. Can you imagine what he'd be able to do with Barber, Jones and Choice?

Well I guess Shanahan isn't destined to be a Cowboy, but an Indian. It's a good move for Washington. They are a struggling organization that needs direction, and Shanahan likes having ultimate control on his team, which Washington is willing to give. I wasn't surprised when they immediately dumped 10 players. What I was surprised by was the dumping Ladell Betts and Rock Cartwright. Shanahan is run first, pass second play caller. He's turned so many guys into superstars. Terrell Davis, Reuben Droughn (Yes, he was good under Shanahan), Clinton Portis and even Tatum Bell shined under Shanahan's system. So I'm curious what Shanahan's going to do for the backup back situation, because Portis is not the Portis of 2004 (again, look at the Title).

Even with the running back situation, nothing was as shocking as the acquisition of Donovan McNabb. First and foremost I could NOT believe that the Eagles would trade within the Division. Second; this breaks the mold of what Shanahan has always liked as a head coach, and that's having a young Quarterback to groom. It looked to be setting up nicely for Shanahan to be able to draft Clausen, or Stafford in this weeks draft, but now who knows where they'll go. Donovan, although still a threat, he's not what he used to be. Still has a cannon of an arm, but struggles with his accuracy at times when it's not a deep bomb or a dump into the flats. Ask any Philly fan and they'll give you a long breakdown of how bad McNabb sucks. McNabb's biggest defenders will say it's because he's never had a legitimate receiver to throw to. Besides Terrell Owens, back in... eh hem... 2004, he's been throwing to young guys, undersized guys, and possibly undervalued guys, but he and Andy Ried made it work.

Then I hear this little tid-bit the other day from The Huddle "Donovan McNabb encouraging Redskins to sign Terrell Owens". If you read the article, or even watch what ESPN has to say on the matter of course the organization is going to avoid saying they are pursuing Terrell Owens. Jerry Jones said that too all the way up until he announced the signing of TO. No matter what chemistry the two allegedly had off the field, on the field in 2004 they connected 77 times, for 1200 yards and 14 TD's. It was enough to propel the Eagles into the superbowl ultimately to lose to Patriots. Just as Mcnabb, TO isn't the same player he was even a season ago when he was with the Cowboys. Of course a lot of that has to do with the differences between the organizations of the Cowboys and the Bills, caliber of the team, quality of the coaching and play calling on the field. But, TO is 37 years old. Look at other players that tried to extend their career past when most retire; Jerry Rice, Emmit Smith, Vinny Testaverde, etc. Brett Favre doesn't count, because the season he had last year was a fluke, the guy is just crazy.

Who knows what the Redskins are going to do next season. Personally I hope every addition to their team gets injured because they haven't been drinking enough Ensure, or taking their Centrum Silver Vitamins for senior citizens. As a Cowboys fan of course I'm going to keep an eye on this team. But with the caliber of the team the Redskins are assembling it sure is a good thing they don't have a flux capacitor on the team bus to take them back to 2004.

I'd Vote for him!

2010-04-19T16:16:00.005-05:00

I saw this on GordonKeith.com (another fun time waste site, but be careful, he posts some NSFW stuff), and although it started slow, it really got AWESOME.

Homer Simpson scolds Tiger Woods?

2010-04-16T13:26:00.002-05:00

I actually do like the new Nike commercial with audio of Earl Woods asking Tiger what he was thinking. Even though the audio didn't really have to do with Earl talking to Tiger I liked the use of the audio for the situation that Tiger is in. BUT; Here's an even better with the best TV Dad in the world... Homer Simpson.

Chatroulette Fun!

2010-04-15T13:43:00.005-05:00

A while back I watched the video of Ben Folds chatrouletting live during one of his concerts, and thought it was hilarious. Of course it's the edited version because of all the wang present, but it was genius how he made songs from random stuff. I don't really get the whole chatroulette. What people use it for, or why it's so damn popular. I've never been on there, and frankly I would probably be afraid and want to run far, far away from my computer if I ever did.

Well I was frequenting I-am-bored.com as I do for my frequent mental break and they posted Jon Lajoie who made his own song. If you don't know who Jon Lajoie is I've linked his name to his website. The man has some really funny stuff. Most notably his "Everyday Normal Guy" raps. But here's his song dedicated to chatrouletting.

In case you never saw Ben Folds chatroulette video during one of his concerts... here you go.

Saying Goodby to Texas Stadium

2010-04-12T09:32:00.001-05:00

What kind of semi sports blogger would I be without posting the implosion of Texas Stadium. It has been a staple of Cowboys football for my entire life and I am sad to see it go, while at the same time saying "Bout time." Whether your a Cowboys fan, or just grown up in this area, everyone has their own memories of Texas Stadium. I mean it's only been here for 34 years! So I'm going to pretend that any of you actually care what I think and tell you some of my fondest memories of the late, great Texas Stadium, may she rest in eternal peace.

Being a football fan, of course my first memories are watching Cowboys games. Some of the greatest games were agianst rivals like the Giants, Niners, Redskins, Steelers and the former Oilers (still miss the Oilers). Our holiday dinners at my parents house are built around what time the Cowboys play. When I was a kid, we would trade off houses between my parents house, and close friends of my parents. But you always loved the hole in the roof, and watching the blimp circle over the stadium where you could only see a third of the field. No other stadium had a hole in the roof, and as many people mocked the "Hole in the roof so god can watch his favorite team" they also enjoyed it.

My fondest memory of Texas Stadium was when I was a little kid, probably 6, or 7, my dad entered me and my sister in a Radio Shack drawing that I actually won. What we won were tickets for my family to go to the Cowboys Thanksgiving day game, and after the opening kickoff I got to run out onto the field and pick up the kicking tee. Just before the start of the game Radio Shack, and Cowboys representatives came up to our seats and walked me down to the field where they gave me a jersey of my favorite player, Herschel Walker. So when they brought me to the field they gave me a #34 Herschel Walker jersey and I actually got to shake hands with him. I was on cloud nine just being in the proximity of him, much less actually met him. Then they brought me to the side and explained to me what I had to do. It seemed simple enough. Right after the kickoff, run down the 30 yard line, pick up the kicking tee and run back with it. That wasn't the case.

So there I am, a young 6 year old blond version of me standing on the 30 yard line with my Herschel Walker jersey on waiting anxiously to run across the field to grab the kicking tee. Nerves are running rampant, and full of excitement and anticipation. The whistle blows and the team sprints past when the Cowboys rep pushes me on the back and yells for me to go. With my little legs scampering across the field I get to the tee and I forgot what I was supposed to do. Go back? Go Across? I completely forgot. So I turn back and see the Cowboys rep waiving their arms to just run across the field. What felt like an eternity probably was only a matter of seconds but I turn around and run to the Vikings Sideline. Where I was greeted by one of their coaches and some players who were chuckling and calling me little man. I asked "what do I do now?" and they told me to walk around the back of the end-zone back to the Cowboys side. Someone was nice to escort me, don't ask who, because I couldn't tell you, probably a trainer or someone unimportant. It was truly a blast doing that and I'll never forget that moment in my life.

Other than Cowboys games, the other thing that Texas Stadium was synonymous for was Texas High School football. It was always the place you dreamed of being able to play because that meant your team made it to playoffs. Unfortunately my High School team sucked and we never had the opportunity to walk down the tunnel, but our Coach had beaten in into our brains that walking down that tunnel is what we played for. Guess he didn't do a good enough job. Well... That or we were in too tough of a district with Duncanville (State Champs 1998), Flower Mound Marcus (State Champs 1997), Lewisville (State Champs 1996), and the like.

I'm sure you have your own memories of Texas Stadium. It truly will be missed, as we watch the Cowboys play in the new Cowboys Stadium/ Jerry World/ Death Star/ What ever other nickname you want to give it. Below is a small video of the implosion of a 34 year Dallas landmark. If you listen close enough you might be able to hear the entire city of Irving's collective exhale as they sink into their chairs and hang their heads because Irving is no longer on America's map.

Hello BASEball and Opening Day!

2010-04-08T11:01:00.011-05:00

Baseball season is back! So to kick it off this guy, along with some good friends, went out to the Rangers opening day to watch them play the Toronto Blue Jays. It's honestly been a good 20 years or so since I've been to an opening day game, so this one was technically my first. I admit it, I popped my opening day cherry with the first crack of cold beverage. It was a magical Monday morning while everyone else was driving to work, or sitting in their office working on their TPS reports, we were enjoying the cool, brisk morning air. The wind whisking by our faces, flavored with the aroma of burning charcoal briquettes, beef and barbecue sauce. All around were sounds of people laughing, talking, taking in the brevity of the moment and sharing it with those closest to them. Then a kid riding by on a motorized scooter, followed by the annoying sound of the whistling spiral football and some random lone kid cheering and doing a fist pump while sitting in the back of a pickup truck under the bed cover. I think it's time to go into the game.

To kick the game off we got to see an F-16 fly by, which is always enjoyable, then the first amputee Army Paratrooper jump in to deliver the game ball to Roger Staubach for the ceremonial first pitch. All of that is well and good, but I'm ready for some baseball. I was a little leery the week before when I heard the Rangers named Scooter Feldman as the opening day pitcher (Trust in Maddox). Feldman didn't do anything spectacular, but also didn't do horribly. Feldman was able to get through 7 innings, and aside from the 2 run shot he gave up to Adam Lind in the third inning, he seemed to settle down. It was a pretty slow game overall because up until the 7th inning it was a 3-0 game. That was until Nelson Cruz came to bat in the bottom of the 7th and hit a 398ft, 3 run home run into the Rangers bullpen in right-center field that tied the game. Neftali Feliz got a big pop from the fans when he came in during the 8th inning, but he had no control. Jarrod Saltalamacchia was jumping, and stretching all over to grab his pitches. I figured it was opening day jitters, but he did not look good in his 2010 season debut. Unfortunately Feliz gave up a home run that put the Blue Jays back up front.

You can't complain when you're at an Opening Day game, away from work, sitting in a sold out stadium, in the bottom of the 9th inning with your team down 1 run. Michael Young comes up and hits a double like the clutch player he is with Josh Hamilton, Vladimir Guerrero and Nelson Cruz to bat. What was awesome, and I wish I had more memory on my camera phone, but the entire stadium became electric chanting "Let's Go Rangers" "Let's Go Rangers." Hamilton struck out. Next up was the Rangers new bat, Vladimir Guerrero. Images of this exact scenario flashed before me when Vlad was with the Angels, and when the Rangers had a small lead in the 9th I always cringed when Vlad was at bat, but this time, he's ours. The chanting got louder, the people trying to start the wave a couple sections over gave up and decided to actually watch the game., as Vlad hit a single to move Young to third. Here comes our Home Run Derby king Nelson Cruz who already hit a home run earlier in the game. The chanting continues and I've got goose bumps. Cruz swings, and doubles to right center scoring Young, and moving Vlad to 3rd. Game's tied bitches, with Chris "Crush" Davis. Toronto walks Crush with a smattering of boo's from the crowd and up comes Jarrod "The Jewish Bomber" Saltalamacchia (I have no idea if he's Jewish but I want to make this stick). The Chanting is in full affect again and with every pitch that's fouled off, you hear the collective gasp and release from the crowd. Until he finally gets solid contact with a pitch that score David Murphy, who came in to run for Vlad. Now the crowd, myself, and every is going crazy and the bench clears to tackle Salty.

It was a great day, capped off by a great game. I hope this team can maintain a sense of competitiveness this season. It truly is so much more fun when you're watching a game with as many fans as were there especially when it's not a Yankees or Red Sox game. Having the entire stadium actually out, supporting the Rangers was awesome. The Garlic fries were as good as always and a generic hot dog is always tastier while it's in the accompaniment of a cold beverage at a baseball game. I'm sure there will be more games I attend this season. I like to try and get to several games a year. Not necessarily all Rangers games, because the Frisco Rough Riders have a fantastic stadium and I enjoy seeing the up-and-comers before they hit the majors (I got to see Neftali Feliz pitch in Frisco, and when you're sitting close enough that 100mph pitch is insane). You gotta love baseball season!

Balls Talk

2010-03-17T17:50:00.004-05:00

Never really knew Steve Nash was into bits, but got a glimpse of it at the All Star game when they intorduced him and he proceeded to flex and kiss his biceps. But this video is greatness. Watch and enjoy.

Steel Panther Greatness

2010-03-16T11:46:00.003-05:00

Ok, so a buddy of mine that plays drums in a local heavy rock band showed this to me, and it's greatness. It's from a the heavy metal hair band parody group Steel Panther (who provided us with Tony Romo's post Seattle playoff fail to on stage sing-a-long to "Sweet Chil of Mine" fail... link here). A little NSFW'ish.

Sampras/ Agassi fun

2010-03-16T10:41:00.004-05:00

During a Charity Tournament for Haiti, they had doubles teams of Sampras/Federer and Agassi/Nadal. Great part of this is that they were mic'd up. [Side note] They should mic people up more during matches. But there's a shorter version of this on youtube, but it had ad's all over the screen. Advance to somewhere around 7 minutes in to see Pete Sampras imitate Agassi's walk, then Agassi's comeback about his tipping habits.

Kimmell - Handsome Men's Club

2010-03-09T10:42:00.003-06:00

I don't know if you watch the Jimmy Kimmell Show Weeknights on ABC, but this was a great sketch he did after the Oscars. Just watch the sketch and enjoy.

Bear plays catch up!

2010-03-02T09:54:00.013-06:00

Yes, the cold weather drove this bear into hibernation for a while! So I'm going to try and get caught up real quick on a lot of the things that have gone on since I last posted. First, I do want to point out the obvious that we are fast approaching Spring. What does that mean for me? Well, I love this time of year! It symbolizes 3 things. One; It's getting closer to baseball season. Two; It's approaching the best weather days where you can open your windows during the day and wear sweaters at night. Three; The NCAA tourney is just around the corner so that means I can now start to watch college basketball... because lets be honest, no-one watches until now anyways, right?

Spring Training
First it was Pitchers and Catchers who reported, then everybody had to report to Spring Training (although it's kind of hard to call it Spring when it's snowing in Dallas). This means we actually get to start seeing how some of these players are going to work with each other. Spring training this year is big for the Rangers because we have some new arms that are going to be tried out for starting roles (like CJ Wilson and Neftali Feliz) from the bullpen last season. The other big thing for this season is it's the first season in over a decade the Rangers haven't had Rudy Jaramillo guiding the bats. I've said this before, but I'm completely on board with a new batting coach even if it means less home runs. As long as it equates into a better batting average with runner in scoring position, and longer at bats. You've got to make those pitchers work. As with every spring training, I warn everyone to not focus too hard on box scores and player stats being a guage for the season. We never know what the coaches plan for each game. It could be Mike Maddox wants Harden to solely work on his sinker, or Clint Hurdle wants Elvis Andrus to work on going opposite field. We just never know, so take that into consideration.

Olympics
I'm a huge Olympic nerd! I'll admit that I did watch figure skating. In my defense I only watched the final rounds of women singles and pairs because there were Americans pushing for gold. Julie Mancuso tweeted something that we've talked about amongst friends before, and that's we "...don't get judged sports" either. I enjoy watching the opening ceremonies, and try to catch everything I can from curling to the biathlon (that's the skiing and shooting event) and everything in between. Some of my favorite moments were watching Shaun White win the gold while making it look effortless. Lindsey Vonn and Julie Mancuso take Gold and Silver in the Downhill. Apolo Ohno taking Silver in the 1500m after the Koreans crash (Seriously Korea, get over it). Hannah Kearney winning the gold in Freestyle Skiing. Joannie Rochette skating days after her mother passed away (I don't care how tough you are, that shit will bring you to tears). Finally, USA/Canada in the gold medal mens hockey. Holy crap! That was an intense game. From the first drop of the puck on the ice, both teams were going full bore to win. Unfortunately for us we lost, but it's not to shabby to show the world that we're the second best hockey nation in the world right now with mostly no-name guys. Side note... Why can't Brenden Morrow play like he did for Canada for the Dallas Stars?

NFL Offseason
Lots of things happening in the NFL this offseason. Seems teams are dumping their older, more expensive players in favor of younger, cheaper guys. Those to get the axe already are Ladanian Tomlinson, Thomas Jones, Terrell Owens and Brian Westbrook. I don't think anyone is worried about them getting a job because they all still have ability, and can still contribute to any team. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised to see Thomas Jones end up in Chicago, and LT to end up in New England. Of course with TO being released from the Bills there's already speculation that he'll end up back in Dallas, but I highly doubt that would happen. Maybe TO will end up back at the team that he started his career with in San Francisco? Just throwing that out there. Other than the Free Agent market, the big news will be the NFL Draft. I probably will do an entire post on the draft and look at what I think the Cowboys should do with their 1st round pick. Also out there in the rumor mill; Chargers willing to trade Antonio Cromartie to the Cowboys for Tashard Choice. Would I do it? Not for Choice, but if they're willing to take Marion Barber, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

Blog Notes
I've been toiling with the idea of dropping the anonymity. Most of the people that read this blog are my friends, why you read this I have no idea but I welcome the readership. Every once in a while I'll get the random reader from people that must have stumbled upon my What's the Affliction douchebag society posting from last year and leave fun comments calling me an "internet warrior." It's really quite entertaining when outsiders try to delve into my little blogoshpere and make determinations on my life from it. Anyways, I've been debating just dropping the Bear and going with my own name. These are my opinions, my thoughts and my rants anyways. Just something I've been thinking about. Probably what will happen is I'll just change my about me to actually be me, with my name, and still sign all my postings with Bear... We'll see.

Well I think that catches me up with some of the postings that I wanted to get to, but have either been too busy working, or too busy sleeping to get to. With that, I shall leave you with this trailer from one of my new favorite shows Archer, Thursdays on FX.

I'm about to FART!

2010-02-09T23:26:00.001-06:00

I teased this a couple of weeks ago when I was failing as a consistent blogger... Not like anything has changed since then! It's a constant struggle with this disorder, but they just don't make medication for this problem.

One day I decided to send out a bunch of feelers to see what the general synopsis of fart humor is with people outside my little circle of friends. Most of them being girls I was digging on, and some being girls that had hung out with a few times but was moving on to new prospects (that sounds bad... really hoping they don't actually read this), but I found that Fart humor is a mixed bag. What some of the recipients didn't know is that Farting has come up at least once or twice in the encounters I've had with them. That got me thinking about all the instances I've had to fart and couldn't. Then all the times I've had to fart and gotten away with it. So when should you fart? When is it ever appropriate, or is it ever appropriate? Let's release the pressure on this shall we?

I figured what I would do is present random scenarios that could come up in everyday and determine if it's a good time to fart or not. Scenarios like on a first date, at the gym, in school, in a bar, etc.

First Date - Honestly I really don't see any appropriate time to fart. These "hold backs" are also some of the most painful too. Typically when people go on first dates you incorporate some sort of dinner plans, followed by drinks or a movie (I'm boring, what can I say). If all goes well you end up back at your place or hers and you could have been holding a massive fart the entire time. That pressure build up has caused me to curl over in pain at times. The only times you can feasibly find a way to get a release is to excuse yourself to the bathroom at the restaurant, or at the bar. Then you open yourself up to being the guy that rips the massive, wall vibrating fart that could get pointing fingers from the other patrons and you're stuck having to explain it to the person you're with. My advice is to be sure to eat light meals during the day, do your dirty deed at least a hour before your date arrives, or before you leave on the date so that you have a 4 hour cushion after dinner. This will give you plenty of time to find escape routes to let one go without recourse. I've had times when a lady friend has been over and 3/4ths in you feel that knock and I had no escape available. Just had to wait it out for when I said goodbye, shut the door, buckled over in pain in my foyer and unleashed un-holy hell only to worry that she left something and I would hear the doorbell as I sit with my back against the inside of the front door. This is true, it has happened to me.

The Gym - This is a tough one to determine farting etiquette. It's in public, so generally public environments I like to say that you should keep your farts to yourself, but the gym is a special kind of public. Not only are you usually within very close proximity with other gym go'ers, you're inhaling and exhaling profusely. This opens up for the ability for deep lung exposure to your farts and that's never good. At the same time this is a scenario where I completely understand when it happens because all the movement, and muscle contracting forces things out. It's nature. Just like with the first date, you know when you're going to the gym. Prepare your bowels for it. I had a ritual before every football game that I would take a pregame duecer. This will clear your system of unwanted airborne toxins that could stop someone mid stride on the treadmill, or mid rep on the bench. You have to know how frustrating it is when you're doing super-sets on the bench, or when you're a mile-and-a-half in on the treadmill (I'm not a runner so that's long for me) and you get that wiff of your neighbors nether-regions. Not Cool! It's bad enough we're already having to get past the people that don't wear deodorant, or the heavy breathers with bad breath. The last thing I want to add to that list is your onus. Take care of your business before the gym, clear the pipes and we'll all get along just fine!

At School - It's been a while since this has applied to me, but we've all been there. There's always that class clown, or that yuck monkey that decides it's funny to fart in the middle of class, or when you're studying at the library. To you sir, I say STOP! It's not funny. It doesn't impress anyone. Maybe we enjoyed the 1 second break from our books, or writing our papers, but no-one enjoys the next 5 minutes of misery as we pull our collars over our noses, eyes watering from your fast food lunch or chili surprise in the cafeteria. We're in a place of learning, and especially in college we're spending good money to advance our professional future past Grocery Clerk, Stocker or Gas Station Attendant. Do us all a favor and excuse yourself, or keep your seat firmly on... well... your seat to try and contain the stench from being released to the general public. Also, be sure to be the last to leave the table, and walk behind everyone so that we don't have to walk through the fog as the green goblin smoke escapes your pants where it's been trapped by the seat cushion.

At the Bar - This is a common occasion for all 4 of my readers. It's a good night, everyone's having a good time, singing old 90's music in a bar full of kids born in the late 80's so they missed the 90's wave of hip hop, grunge rock, etc. Then it hits. That slight tingle in the nostril, the furrowed brow, and POW, that unmistakable stench. Someone just blanketed your area like the fog in San Francisco Bay covers the Golden Gate Bridge. Now you look around for the snickering punk laughing with his friends, or your buddy that got the smirk on his face because he knew 20 minutes ago how bad this was going to smell. No one owns up, and your left to hope a hot girl doesn't think you did it as she approaches to order her round of vodka cranberries. This is a difficult situation to bitch at. You're pissed that you've been bombed, but at the same time you know that you've had to do it before. Alcohol is a depressant and just as you feel looser, and happier, the muscles on your sphincter are looser and happier. This means you much more likely to release your bodies own version of a purple haze unsuspectingly. My advice is to pre-plan your night (seems to be a common theme). Know your exits, and escape routes to keep the fart away from your group, while bombing another. Or you can release it in the bathroom, but tight quarters could require you to go outside, or run to the restaurant down the street to drop the Huckstables off at the pool to clear the system. Be polite, and spare the other patrons and find a way outside.

Other places/times it's not a good idea to fart:
-Hot Tub
-Shower
-Church
-Wedding
-Funeral
-Small Cubicle
-Business Meeting
-In the car
-During a presentation
-Sitting on significant others lap
-During sex
-During oral sex
-In a water slide tunnel
-During first kiss
-Doing the bump and grind

I'm not saying farting is ALWAYS bad. Just in public situations you need to pick, um, your poison. There are many times when I've found myself in a situation when it was just inescapable to fart. So I'd try to run to the next room where no-one was, or casually walk to the sliding glass door, slide it open and release the kracken. Hell, I remember when I waited tables and we'd crop dust other waiters sections because we didn't want our tables to smell it. That's right people, sometimes when you see a waiter from the other side of the restaurant magically appear on your side of the restaurant he's either hitting on your waitress, or you just got drive-by-mustard-gassed.

Hopefully you'll think about some of these things next time you feel that rumble in your jungle. Just remember these three keys to farting in public. Look, Listen, Fight or Flight. Look around to see if this is an appropriate time/place to fart. Listen to be sure that if you try to slide one by unknowingly the ambiance is loud enough in case it's not silent. Fight to hold it back if you can. When there is no escape let it rip but be a man, and own up to your stench. The cats already out of the bag, or your pants, and people are in misery. If it's your friends, accept blame, if it's an unsuspecting crowd Deny, Deny, Deny, and go far away from them.

Some Family Guy Fart Fun.

Cowboys Season in Review. Part 2... Defense/Special Teams!

2010-02-02T18:07:00.007-06:00

Do I really need to remind the three of you that read my blog that the Cowboys Season is over? I think we all know it is. I've already blamed Bill Simmons in the first part of this season review, so you all know where I stand. Wade Phillips ("Surprise I'm here!") did get a new contract since the first posting. Basically the way I see it is Jerry Jones took the option on his contract and extended that for an extra year. What he really did was give Wade a brand spanking new 2 year contract without an option after the 2011 season, and talked it up like 2 years is an eternity in the NFL. With the coaching talent that's available I would agree and add that it is an eternity! Anyways, back to my review of the 2009 defensive season.

Defensive Line
What can a person say about Jay Ratliff? He's just a beast in the middle especially for an undersized "Typical" Nose Tackle. Statistically people will say that his numbers are down from last year but really how are you going to argue that? Last year he had 50 tackles to this years 41. Last year he had 7.5 sacks to this years 6. Last year he had 0 forced fumbles to this years 2. He's a nose tackle. He's not a Demarcus Ware, or Mario Williams, or someone on tearing the edge. Ratliff is amazing that an undersized guy can draw 2 blockers on just about every play. What was a surprise was the play of Igor Olshansky and Marcus Spears. I was really worried about the loss of Chris Canty because I really felt that he was the more productive of Spears and Canty. What I was happy about was the addition of Igor Olshansky seemed to fit right in with this system (of course it helped with him coming from San Diego and Wade's defense there! What I'd like to see improved for next season? For wade to keep working with Stephen Bowen. Although he didn't get a lot of snaps he still got the second most snaps out of the defensive lineman. Currently he seemed to only come in on nickle and third down packages, but it seems like he could become a decent player in this league

Linebackers
We all now Demarcus Ware, but this season I really was impressed with two other players. Anthony Spencer and Keith Brooking. Let's go young then old shall we? When the Cowboys got tired of Greg Ellis constantly bitching about his role on this team and his contract they set their hopes firmly on Anthony Spencer to fill the shoes of a 11 year veteran and for half the season it was beginning to look like a bust. Then that always mentioned "something" happened and he began to really become a force opposite of Ware. What really impressed me is his speed and hustle to adjust on a play and chase down a running back. Hopefully he can keep it going for next season, and that "something" wasn't just a hot flash. Keith Brooking. Brooking is a guy that I've mentioned time and time again on this blog that I called them picking this guy up. We lost Zach Thomas because he was a little whiney bitch and Brooking stepped in and became the veteran leader this team hoped Thomas would have been. I still remember the game when Brooking was running along the sideline as Miles Austin was sprinting for a touchdown. What I'd like to see improved for next season? Continued improvement with Anthony Spencer. Let's hope his production wasn't just a one half season wonder. Also, I'd like to see what some of the new additions in the draft last year can do. I'm still not sold on Barbie Carpenter and think the Nickle defense missed Kevin Burnett athleticism. Oh, and someone please tell Barbie to stop waiving his arms. Focus on the play at hand and your reads.

Defensive Backs
Not really sure what to make of the DB's this season. Seems like Terrance Newman isn't as fast as he used to be, and seems Michael Jenkins could really be a player. The difficulty that I'm having is that I know I want to criticise Newman for his play, but he just didn't get the ball thrown his way that often. Could be because in film opposing teams just felt he had good coverage, or they felt that Jenkins was more likely to be out of position? Never the less, Newman looked to me like he was counting too much on his speed to recover on routes, and Jenkins relied on Hamlin to yell out coverages to him. Hopefully we can find out next season what's really going on back there. I am happy with the play of Hamlin and Sensabaugh in the Strong and Free Safety spots. Hamlin proved last year that he earns a spot on the team and I think that Sensabaugh proved this year that he earned a spot on this team. I don't know about you but I could tell when Sensabaugh went down and Alan Ball filled his spot that something was missing in the backfield. To Ball's defense, he is a Corner playing Free Safety. What I'd like to see improved for next season? Keep working with Scandrick. I don't know if Jenkins just got "it" this season, or if Scandrick just didn't improve over last season but with what's going on with Newman I'm worried we're a little thin on the Corners. Newman is also injury prone, so I'd like some more depth there. Resign Sensabaugh and extend Hamlin. They are both young Veterans that should have at least 3 or 4 more years in them.

Special Teams
Kicker! I don't think I really need to explain much more on this if you've watched any of the Cowboys this season. Something was up league wide with Kickers. I'm not sure if the NFL changed up the ball, or if someone bugged all the kickers Gatorade, but a lot of kickers suffered from the shanks. So it wasn't just Folk, but hopefully we can find someone that hasn't lost his confidence in his leg. I said this a while back, but I really think that Nick Folk never felt comfortable after his surgery. Although the Doctors cleared him to play, it's like any athlete after an injury/surgery. It takes time until you stop favoring those parts that you had fixed. When you favor a leg, as a Kicker, it throws off your entire mechanics. Doubt we'll bring him back, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was back on the team after his confidence returns. Buehler showed why they drafted a kicker with 29 touchbacks. Don't get sports, that basically means that 29 times we didn't even give the opponent a chance to return a ball on a kickoff. What I'd like to see improved for next season? Get a kicker that knows how to kick. I don't know if we'll have to draft someone because most available guys are older and losing their legs, but we need someone. We need 2007/08 Nick Folk back. I'd also like to see improvement with how we return the ball. I'm tired of seeing the guys catch the ball and run laterally. "North and South!" I remember that from my football film day when backs would run from sideline to sideline instead of goal line to goal line.

Okay, so it only took me about a month to finally get both parts of this in, but hey... what do you care? I think there's only about 3 people that actually read this, and about a dozen that happen to come across my Douchebag Society postings and claim me as an "internet warrior" who's been picked on by douches (I'm not kidding. I think I struck a nerve with someone). Anyways, we'll see what the Boys do over the off season and I'll try to chime in on any developing news along the way to the Draft.

Chiming in on Jay & Conan

2010-01-22T10:06:00.007-06:00

Being that tonight is the last night of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien I wanted to finally speak my peace on this entire ordeal. Hopefully you haven't been living in a cave for the last month and you have some sort of understanding what's going on here. If not, long story short Jay Leno decided to retire from the Tonight Show. NBC offered it to Conan. Jay didn't want to retire so they let him stay a little longer on the show, then NBC gave him his own show at 10. Jay's show tanked in ratings and Conan's number weren't doing as well so Jay says he always brought good numbers at 1130. NBC says Okay and decides to put Jay's show on at 1130 and push the Tonight Show after that. There.. Got it? That's the gist of it all.

In my honest opinion Jay Leno is the Douchebag of them all. People can sit there and blame NBC for giving in to Jay, but Jay started this all with going back on his first sentiments to retire, then holding off his retirement, then developing his own show. Leno held down the top ratings of talk shows for 15 years. Of course NBC will want his ratings back so they will bend over backwards for a guy like Jay Leno. Whatever the case may be, Conan has been the funniest I think I've EVER seen him this week. He knows his time is running out on the Tonight show, and since NBC doesn't want to disrupt programming they are allowing him to finish out the week, and seemingly let him just have at it. If you haven't watched this week you must watch tonight. His guest tonight are Tom Hanks and Will Ferrell with musical guest Niel Young. This week has been a star packed week with Adam Sandler, Robin Williams, Ben Stiller, Quentin Tarantino, Martin Scorsese, Jeff Bridges, etc. I love how just about every one of them have all backed Conan and riding the Team Coco.

Even if you're not a fan of Conan, you MUST watch tonight. All week Conan has introduced new characters to the show that costs NBC money (I don't know how true it is that NBC is paying for it, but still funny). Last night Conan had the Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird wearing a Minx Snuggie, watching unlicensed NFL Footage. Estimated character cost $4.8 M, million. Or Wednesday night when he introduced the Bugatti Veyron Mouse at $1.8M, million (video here). So who knows what Conan will introduce tonight but I know It's being recorded and I will probably watch it. I mean, come on... It's Conan and Will Ferrell! If you thought that Robin Williams went wheels off when he flipped off the mock background set of LA and pretended to expose himself to it (That's right, he did that and you can watch it here), or when he made the Irish Drinking song for Conan (click here) I can only imagine the shenanigans that's going to go down tonight! Hopefully Conan will find a network to take his show too because he really was the only one that I would watch. He was a writer for the Simpsons, who else would be able to get our generations humor?

Cowboys Season in Review. Part 1... Offense.

2010-01-19T09:32:00.002-06:00

Well that day is upon us. Cowboys lost to the Minnesota Vikings in the Divisional round of the playoffs 34-3. I know after the strong finish to the season we all slated the Boys to be in the Superbowl but I think this just shows how hard it is to get there. As much as I'd like to rip them apart for the poor performance that we all witnessed Sunday I kind of expected a loss after the trend of the home teams winning in the second round (except for the Jets), and because Bill Simmons picked the Cowboys to win in his Page 2: Sports Guys World column on ESPN.com. I love Bill Simmons, he's a man I wish I could aspire to become, but he went 0-4 in his Wild Card playoff picks. As someone told me "...even a blind, deaf, half-retarded person can pick one right!" This person will be remain nameless for their sake. Never the less, the season is done for the Cowboys. Some questions were answered, and new questions have risen. Let's look back and see how they did in my eyes (a born and raised Cowboys fan that has grown from a casual observer to slightly more casual observer with a blog).

Quarterback
The play of Tony Romo this season was a bit like riding a rollercoaster. Started strong with some career games in passing with 344 yards in the Tampa game and 351 yards in the Kansas City game. Unfortunately he was turn over prone with interceptions and fumbles (I think he had like 6 turnover in the first 5 games). But at the end of the day, or the season I think he performed when he needed to. Tony threw for over 4500 yards on the season, completing over 60% of his passes with 26 touchdowns and only 9 interceptions. He finished the season with a QB rating of 97.6 and that puts him in the top 10 with names like Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, Phillip Rivers, and so on. For his career, Romo has a career rating of 95.6 which puts him in fourth behind Aaron Rodgers, Steve Young and Phillip Rivers. Not bad company. What I'd like to see improved for next season? I'd like to see Tony work more with Roy Williams and his receivers on route adjustments. It seems a lot of the mistakes came when Tony expected the receiver to adjust his route shallow/deep/inside/outside/etc. depending on the coverage shown. The Quarterback and receivers need to be on the same page with their reads and I think a lot of that was missing this season. Otherwise just overall game management. I think he's doing a great job of that now, and Tony really showed towards the end of the season that it might be slowing down more for him, but the Vikings game just ruined all the progress we saw in the previous 5 games.

Running Back
For the most part the Trio of Marion Barber III, Felix Jones and Tashard Choice lived up to expectations. What I didn't expect was how in-effective Barber was. Although he ended the season with 932 rushing yards and 7 touchdowns, all I can remember from the season were his 3 failed attempts on the goal line and all the times we went for it on a third and 1, or fourth and short and he couldn't get that one yard. I've said this before in previous postings that I think the Cowboys need to move Barber back to being the fourth quarter guy/ goal line back. He's a physical runner who should be pounding it within the tackles in the fourth quarter when the defensive line is tired. When both sides of the ball are playing with fresh legs, and clear heads it doesn't do him any good. We also got to really see how explosive Felix Jones can be, and surprisingly more than I expected how much he likes to hit someone. As far as Tashard Choice goes all I have to say is what a steal we got on him in the draft. He's a tough guy that has a tremendous motor and elusive speed. Choice has done nothing in my eyes that don't prove he deserves touches. The three back combined for 1966 rushing yards and 13 touchdowns. I know this screws with my Barber analysis but the three backs averaged (5.2 yards per carry, 4.4 Barber, 5.9 Jones and 5.5 Choice). What I'd like to see improved for next season? Redundancy alert. Move Barber to the Goal line and Fourth Quarter starter. Start Tashard Choice and split the carries with Felix Jones. When you get to the fourth quarter you use Barber heavily and split the carries with Jones. This is all speculating that the Cowboys keep all three backs, but I could also see scenarios where they try to move Barber or Choice for draft picks. Maybe more on that some other time.

Wide Receiver
Smiles Austin welcome to the NFL! Miles Austin's emergence as this teams number one wide receiver was the biggest surprise/need for this team. I really expected Roy Williams to step up and become a large part of this offensive passing attack but something just wasn't there between he a Romo. Although all the preseason reports said that Romo and Williams started working together before training camp it didn't seem to transpose on the field. I know within our group we've come to the conclusion that Williams is a horrible route runner but this also goes back to my Quarterback expectations for next year. Romo and Williams just were not on the same page when it came to route adjustments. In my season preview I really stated that either Sam Hurd or Miles Austin needed to step up because Crayton already has his role as the third receiver. We'd all seen Austin before and I felt he could become a great receiver because of his speed and size, but he could not catch a perfectly thrown ball. Although his hands aren't great, he's shown loads of improvement but what makes him explosive is his ability to get yards after the catch. What I'd like to see improved for next season? Redundancy alert. Better route running and route adjustments with Tony Romo. Again, there were so many times Sunday, and all season where Romo would expect someone to adjust their route outside due to coverage, or game situation and the receiver would sit on the route, or not adjust at all. If everyone is seeing the same thing then some of those ghost passes to no one would get us some of those critical yards to shorten third downs, or get us a first down. They've got to get on the same page.

Tight End
The Tight End position was something that was talked a lot about in the preseason. With the addition of Martellus Bennett everyone wanted to talk about the Cowboys going to a dual tight end set with the threat of two receiving Tight Ends in Witten and Bennett. Unfortunately we found out that for a considerable stretch this season Witten had be be kept in to block to give the offensive line added protection because, at that time, Choice/Barber/Jones were struggling picking up their blocks. As far as the position goes as a whole there's not much to be said because Witten still earned over 1000 yards on the season and although he only got 2 touchdowns, when Witten has a big game typically the Cowboys win. I would have thought that by the end of the season the big surprise was going to be Martellus Bennett, but really my surprise was John Phillips. Although he was a guy that statistically he didn't do much, he was a solid blocking tight end, and filled in very nicely when Bennett got a concussed (I love how this is now a frequented word). What I'd like to see improved for next season? Working Phillips into the game plan more and Bennett working with the receivers to understand route adjustments. Witten is a great blocker, but he's no Dan Campbell. When Witten emerged as a receiving threat in the NFL was when he had Campbell on the other side assisting with the blocking. At that time it was giving Drew Bledsoe time to see the field, but even now anything you can do to give Tony Romo time only good things can happen. As far as Bennett goes I won't say he wasn't worth the second round pick we spent on him because he showed that he's a good down-field blocker but his route running looked horrible. I know in his interviews he's denied that he was out of place on his routes, and he could be right, but when the QB is expecting an adjustment on a route you need to be there to make it.

Offensive Line
As a large proponent of the offensive line being the unsung heroes in football I would have to say they overall did a good job this season. Were there hiccups along the way? Yes! But as a whole this line had games where you Romo had an eternity to throw the ball, and there were times when Romo had three seconds before he had a defender in his face to knock his jock strap off. A lot of this is because of Hudson Houk, but my big concern was with Flozell Adams. You can just about guarantee a False Start or a Holding call on Adams in every game. The line is big, their strong and they have a person with my favorite nickname we've coined... The SuperJew, Kyle Kosier. You know... Because he's Kosher! Get it? Screw you! I was really worried when Columbo went down, because that meant we had the untested collegiate Tight End convert to Tackle Doug Free. As it goes with most lineman, no news is always good news. There wasn't a game that I can recall when Free was filling in for Columbo that he blew a block or got beat on the right edge, and that's promising for him. Now the Vikings playoff game is another story when he came in for Flozell Adams because he was matched on Jared Allen. Unfortunately for him it was his fault for the Romo fumble. I'm sure on that play his first read was to check inside then bounce back outside to assist Witten, but a seasoned lineman would know that with the tackle lined up inside the guard, no-one on you and Jared Allen flanked outside Witten you drop back to run Allen out. That's just my thought! What I'd like to see improved for next season? As much as I'd like to see Free take over for Flozell I think this last games showed why we have Flozell out there. As much as we like to bitch about the Holding calls, and the False Starts, a person with that much experience covering the left side is invaluable to the team. Hopefully Free well work hard with Houk and learn how to become a Left Tackle but that's up to Houk. I'd also like to see the Cowboys draft some good, solid young lineman. This group is good... but they're also not getting any younger.

In the next part I'll take a look at the Defense and Special Teams.

Where I've Been

2010-01-18T16:19:00.005-06:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a few weeks but I'm highly superstitious. I honestly make associations with everything I do and how my teams perform on the field. I've written before an entire blog on sports superstitions (click to read) and I completely accept how superstitious I am. I analyze everything down to where I'm sitting, what I'm wearing, who I'm with, etc., as causes for my teams performance. The Cowboys were riding a team high going into the playoffs, and were playing REALLY well while I wasn't writing about anything. So I decided I didn't want to say a word on my blog to break the mojo. Well, that's done now so I'm back. I've already started working on my Season Review for the Cowboys so you can expect those this week. Something I have been toiling with writing are good and bad situations to fart in. Like when you're at the gym, in a bar, in a crowded room, etc.. So I'm back again until the next thing that gets to my superstition, or work pulls me far, far away from blogger.

Why I love I-am-bored.com

2010-01-07T16:01:00.003-06:00

That Jesus... even when he's screwing with you, you still love the guy. I heart you Jesus and your shenanigans. I don't know where they find these things, but it's too funny.

Goodbye 2009... Hello 2010?

2009-12-31T09:37:00.000-06:00

Well as we approach the end of another year, I thought I'd take a little time to reflect on what happened in 2009. In my eyes, 2009 was a mixed year. Personally I've done a lot of growth, physically and mentally. I had my worse year professionally, by having worked at three different companies in the year (two of them went out of business), when for the previous three years I had one job. I'm broker than I've been in a long time but having a blast at the same time. But you don't care about me, so lets toast to the little lessons we learned in 2009 for 2010.

If you're not going to stay faithful, don't do it with a 22 year old!

Here's to you Steve Phillips and Steve McNair. These are two examples of older men, in the limelight, that decided young tail was where their pecker needed to be. Luckily for Phillips he didn't get the McNair outcome but he definitely got close to the fatal attraction and his girl wasn't even HOT. Here's a recent photo of Brooke Hundley. Long story short with Hundley. They rocked the casbah 3 or 4 times and she started stalking the family house, sons baseball practices and even going as far as impersonating one of his sons classmates on Facebook to try and drive a stake in the family from within. This all came to a culmination when she wanted to leave a tell-all letter for the wife but got unexpectedly caught in the act as she was driving away and ran into their landscaping. That bitch ain't right! We all know the Steve McNair tragedy. I don't think I need to explain anything there. So for 2010, let's remember 22 year old women are crazy. As much as your pecker wants to dip into something young and presumably fresh let's take a lesson from Steve and Steve.

Even the Mighty Stumble!

Here's to you Tiger Woods! Talk about a guy that was standing atop the highest pedestal with the largest fall. Tiger was about the be awarded the Congressional Gold Medal for his achievements in golf and the way he handled the race barrier and obstacles. Talk about a slap in the face? With the list of alleged Mistresses and advertisers to drop him, or temporarily withdraw their ads with him, growing every week Tiger has a long road of recovery. Will he ever get back to where he was? Yes and no! I think Tiger is a man that realizes what he did, and although he will probably never get his marriage back, he can get his image back, not Congressional Gold Medal back, but roaring standing ovation as he walks up to the 18th green in his first competitive round back.

Death Can Strike Fast and Unexpectedly!
The Grim Reaper was very buys this year. There were a lot of famous people that passed on to the other plane this year. Micheal Jackson, Les Paul, Farrah Fawcett, Walter Cronkite, Edward Kennedy, Billy Mays, Patrick Swayze, Ed McMahon, Brittany Murphy, Dom DeLuise, David Carradine and Umaga to name a few. Death always teaches us one thing; Never take life for granted. Live every day as if it's your last and you will have a better, fuller life... or so they tell me. But sometimes death teaches us other things like; Don't try to strangle yourself when you orgasm! Or at least remember the lemon trick (I don't know, ask Big on that one). Cocaine is a helluva drug, on your Heart!

So what do we have to look forward to in 2010? A Cowboys Superbowl? Mavericks Championship? Rangers Pennant? Stars Stanley Cup? I dream of all of these things for 2010. The only thing that I know so far is that the Cowboys have 4 games left until the Superbowl and they can only lose one of them! Mavericks have a ways to go since we're not even at the half way point, but we do get the NBA All Star game here in a few. Another Pac-Man strip club shooting in our future? Rangers have a new Owner that's willing to spend money and supposedly targeting, and negotiating with Vladimir Guerrero. Sports wise it looks like it's going the be another interesting year in Dallas and I look forward to riding the 2010 ride. Slainte to you all, and don't let the Champagne Cork hit you in the eye!

Why You Must See AVATAR in 3D

2009-12-30T22:21:00.008-06:00

Hype. Every movie that comes out they want to start hyping the movie up. Promoting it as the next best thing, or the movie with the biggest chase scene, most explosions, funniest cast, most powerful message, yadda yadda yadda. We all know it, see it, understand it and expect it. I've seen both the biggest hyped movies to hit the screens this holiday season and I want to chime in my two cents to the 2 of you that read this blog-o-mine. Both Sherlock Holmes and Avatar are great movies! Each amazing movies that I believe lived up to all the hype that I've been hearing about them. Honestly though it would not do justice to either movie if I try to compare them against each other because you really can't. I'm not going to come on here and tell you one movie is better than the other because that'd be like comparing sex with Marisa Miller to Emmanuelle Chriqui. No the best way to say this is that both movies are great movies that live up to all the hype.

I left Sherlock Holmes thinking Wow that was a really, really good movie. Robert Downey Jr. does an amazing job as Sherlock Holmes, and Guy Ritchie was perfect to do this film. So much went on in the movie that I would completely go and see it again. If you've ever seen a Guy Ritchie movie he loves how there are all sorts of intertwining elements in a movie where he brings it all together at the end. I'm certain there was a lot that I missed the first go around. Avatar left me in a feeling of amazement at what I had just been a part of. That's what this movie, in 3D, does to you. It really sucks you into the movie and the world that James Cameron creates. I haven't been to a 3D movie in years and I have to be honest that I was sort of expecting the paper glasses with the red and blue lenses... totally not the case. Don't pick this movie apart because of all the criticism it's getting on the story line. You all know the story line. It's Dances With Wolves on another planet. But from the beginning of the movie you are exposed to what James Cameron is trying to get you to experience, and that's being a part of this movie. You truly feel like your there in the cockpits of the helicopter, or sitting in the marine safety briefing, or walking through this incredibly graphic jungle with all the life that lives in and surrounds you. The 3D that is in this movie makes this movie powerful because although you can sense where things are going to go you feel every bit of the pain, sorrow, love and triumph the movie offers you because you feel like you're there.

It's just truly amazing what James Cameron has created with this movie. There were times that I would take the glasses off to see what it was like and it really made me lose the sense of connection that I had with the movie. I saw a bunch of the Makings of Avatar through HBO, or watching James Cameron speak at a gaming conference on G4 about the movie and I thought it was all cool. But until you see it all together, how the actors facial expressions of emotion come through on their CGI characters, and how the 3D environment surrounds you and brings you into the movie you have no idea what it all means. Both Sherlock Holmes and Avatar are must sees. But if you must choose one you have to experience Avatar in 3D. This movie revolutionizes 3D and how it can truly make a movie an experience.

Gets me in the Holiday Spirit!

2009-12-21T14:25:00.002-06:00

"You ever seen a Yeti with a a dozen condoms of coke burst in his belly?"

Getting Closer to the Three Seashells!

2009-12-20T12:01:00.000-06:00

Yeah that's right, I used a Demolition Man reference in the title. Why might you ask? To that I say Why not? Demolition Man is a perfect reference for what I want to talk about, and what I want to talk about is where technology is changing how men and women interact and is fully a part of the courtship between a man and a woman. I feel there's going to come a day when we have to put on brain stimulating headgear to have safe sex and three seashells in the bathroom to wipe our asses. Now you get the Demolition Man reference?

Technology is growing and is quickly becoming more and more a part of our lives, and as much as I love it, I hate it. I am a techno geek! I love gidgets and gadgets and exploring the web for new technology and new things coming out. I'm glued into the world of Facebook, Twitter, Blogging and all sorts of social media outlets. I constantly get ridiculed from my friends because I Twitter and I have my Twitter, Facebook, Blog and GTalk all synced together. I created a corporate fan page on Facebook and a Twitter account for my company because I completely believe in this Social Media Marketing wave that's starting to overcome big business. What's all this mean? I have 2 Twitter accounts, 2 Facebook pages, a Blog, and a company Website that I manage. I'd say I'm glued into the whole technology thing.

Now that you get an idea of what I know about all this Social Media stuff, lets get back to the point at hand, and that's how all of this added physical seperation of men and woman through the internet is getting us closer to the point where you could probably screw someone without even being there , and no sexting doesn't count! It used to be to take a girl out you'd have to actually walk up to her, engage a conversation and then arrange the date, transportation, and evenings events right there. Nowadays you get the interest going in the initial conversation, exchange numbers and Facebook accounts so that you can text each other, whilst each other stalks the other persons Facebook/MySpace/Twitter pages to get a better idea the type of person they are before a date is arranged. No more surprise of showing up to pick the girl up from her parents house to find she lives in a trailer park, with her drunk dad, crack head girlfriend and slutty older sister. Now you get the surprise of "Who's this girl on your page?" Or "Why'd you hit on me when your status says 'Its Complicated'?" Or "Who's the girl in that photo with you?" All of this before the first date even happens.

Granted social media outlets have their benefits. Being able to learn a little about a person before the date you can get an idea of the type of restaurant the both of you can go to. Plan the after dinner activities according to what she has interest in like knowing she's into comedies so you plan to see a funny movie instead of the new Michael Bay film where he just decides to blow everything up. You can learn the type of music they are into so that when you get in the car you have already changed from the 90's gangsta rap CD you and your friends were belting out rap verses to the night before coming home from the bar to Ben Folds. Or in my case I'd probably just leave the 90's rap mix in just to see her reaction. You know that shit brings back memories! Sometimes it's really quite amazing what you can learn about a person when you scour the social media outlets. If a person blogs you can really learn A LOT about them, and their friends. Sometimes more than any casual suitor should know about a person they are trying to talk to.

Even with some of the good things that social media outlets provide I feel like there is still something that's being lost between normal everyday interactions. There's all sorts of new levels to dating that have come up within the last few years. As I mentioned earlier you used to meet the girl, set up the date, have a few phone conversations before the date then you went out on the date. Now you meet the girl, exchange profiles and numbers, text, email, facebook stalk each others pages, online chat, set up the date, then go on the date. in some instances you won't even see person until the first date. If you use online dating sites like Match, eHarmony, or any other form of singles connection you won't even see the person until you go on that first date. I used to use Match.com, and at the time it was completely awkward and after talking with several people it seemed like the hush thing you did but told no-one. With the success of the MySpace's and Facebook's, online dating is not as much the red-headed step child they used to be. It is funny when you go out to a bar and you would see someone you saw on a dating site and you would both just kind of give the "knowing nod" that there's something you know about each other everyone else doesn't. So where do I think all of this is headed?

Just follow the trends! Started with online chat rooms, adding in emails to online dating, then into social networks and the next logical step is the three seashells! Yes, I know those were used for wiping your ass but it's the confusion of what to do with them that I'm speaking of. Everyone out there that's single knows a little of all of this that I speak of. I'm not bitching or complaining just voicing out and observation. So in the immortal exchange between John Spartan (Sylvester Stallone) I close with this "Look, Huxley, why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?"

Cowboys Can Kiss My Hairy Arse!

2009-12-14T22:43:00.014-06:00

Ok, at the beginning of the season I started a weekly review of previous weeks Cowboys game and a preview of the upcoming weeks game, and unfortunately I got too ~~busy~~ lazy to keep up with it. But since I've stopped the reviews/previews Miles Austin emerged as a starting wide receiver in the NFL and it looked as if the Cowboys started to find their swagger. Then the Cowboys started this downhill slide and something needs to change. I'm highly superstitious! I will shift positions throughout a game. When the Cowboys are having success on the field I will stay in that same position until commercial break or I have to pee. If they're doing really bad I will start moving things around in my room around, cleaning, picking shit up, anything I can do to affect the bad ju-ju that could be going on. Well the Cowboys are in full December swagger (means they've losing) and I just have to be able to vent about it. WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU?

Everyone wants to blame Tony Romo for... I don't know... let's say 90% of how the Cowboys have been playing in December. But honestly this December Tony has actually played quite well. Would I like a few throws back where Tony BADLY missed a wide open receiver? Yes. That's football! Brady misses passes. Peyton Manning misses passes. Drew Brees misses passes. They're humans, not passing robots. In fact, if you look at Romo's numbers through the 2 losses in December so far you'd honestly think they'd have won the game. Romo went 19-30, 248 yards, 2 TD's in the San Diego loss and 41-55, 392 yards, and 3 TD's in the Giants loss. No interceptions in those games means that Romo has at least been taking care of the ball (lets not bring up how lucky we were in the Giants game where the ball just happened to be tipped to Witten... that's aside my point). The shocking thing is that for the overall season Romo has 3574 yards, 22 TD's and only 7 interceptions. One of my buddies friends on Facebook wanted to go off about how a good quarterback is defined by wins. Well I finally looked this up but Tony Romo is actually 27-12 (FYI I was somewhat close with 35-17 but in my defense that was off the top of my head). I'm sorry if you're a Romo Hater but after the Quarterback Carousel of Quincey Carter, Anthony Wright, Ryan Leaf, Clint Stoerner, Chad Hutchinson, Vinny Testaverde, Drew Henson and Drew Bledsoe I'll take Romo. I would still like to see him stay OUT of the spotlight a little more and not be a celebrity quarterback (like meeting with Eminem on the sideline before the Charges game), but Romo's been the most stable QB for the Cowboys since Aikman.

The Cowboys should have won both of their games in December this year. The Cowboys had the Giants on the ropes just before the end of the first half when they got too cocky, played soft and let the Giants steal the momentum and confidence when they got Flozell Adams to punch Justin Tuck at the end of the half. Yet, the Cowboys still had a chance to win it late in the game, but the Offense stalled, the Defense was tired and they could not convert at crucial moments... Hmm, sounds familiar actually. Last Sunday the Cowboys left 10 points off the board with the failed goal line conversion and the missed field goal by Folk. [Side note] Speaking of Folk, he's lost his confidence in his leg. I don't know if it's remaining from his off season surgery or what, but I say it's time to see if Buehler is at least serviceable. [Ok, side note over] The Cowboys have began to show a trend of not playing tough for 4 quarters. Well, actually the Cowboys have shown a lot of BAD things like failure to convert on third downs, failure to prevent third down conversions, failure to score in the red zone, the list goes on. So what's with this team?

This is going to be a shocker for a lot of you; It's not the Coaches! Yup... I said it. I'm not blaming Wade Phillips. I think Wade was perfect for this team after Parcells. He was the right coach at the right time and the team showed it when they went 13-3. Yes they have sucked in the playoffs but that's not Phillips' fault because they also lost in the playoffs with Parcells. The only problem that has been going on is that the guys on the field are not executing. If you watch any of their games I see massive amounts of confusion out there. Romo throws to the outside when the receiver goes shallow. Anthony Spencer collapses down the line when he should be covering the back out in the flats. Mike Jenkins jumps to the inside of the route when he needs to stay over the top. That's just three glaring recent ones I can think of.

I know what you're going to say; "Well it's the coaches fault for not preparing the players enough for their assignments." As much as I agree with you, I'm going to say these are NFL coaches, and I don't care how crappy they are, they know how fragile their job is so their going to do all they can to make sure the players know their assignments. Right now I really think the defense is affected by not having Ken Hamlin. More importantly, Mike Jenkins is suffering without Hamlin. Hamlin seemed to be the leader in the defensive backfield keeping an eye on the young corners Jenkins and Scandrick. I will say this about the coaching. I don't believe Wade is the right coach for the team anymore. I think this team has gotten to complacent with Wade and although he hasn't lost the team, there's something not right. Honestly I'd like Wade to stay (Shocking I know) but we all know the outcome here. If the Cowboys don't make the playoffs, and don't win a game he's out, Garrett's in. Sorry, not going to say Gruden, or Shanahan, or Cowher, or any other coach that could be available, but Jerry has made it pretty clear that Garrett is the next to take the reigns. Garrett's a former player under Jerry, knows this organization and how Jerry works. Mark that down.

What do I think the Cowboys need to do? Salvage this season with a win in New Orleans. Hear your cattle call, your dinner bell, whatever it is that gets you motivated but you want people to shut up about the December Swoon/Doom and Gloom, WIN! Here's a few ideas for starters; Convert a third down, push the field with deep plays and strong running. Speaking of... start Tashard Choice and rotate in Felix Jones. Marion goes back to his roles as the short yardage third down/goal line/ fourth quarter back . I don't think Marion's skills are helping him when he's playing against fresh legs in the 1st and 2nd quarters. Running back tangent over. STOP an opponents third and long attempt, and can we cover a receiver dragging receiver across the middle of the field sometime this season? So as we all sit, stand, pace, squirm, cringe, moan, groan, bitch and threaten to throw our remotes through our Televisions we are all Cowboys fans and I know on Sunday when they are playing I will be in front of my TV. I can't quit them.

10 Tips Obama Could Take from Tiger

2009-12-07T11:31:00.005-06:00

I could have tried to get a stock photo, but thought this adds a personal touch

So I got my copy of Golf Digest in the mail, and although I already knew it was coming, the cover is still funny and ironic. So I deciced to make up what 10 Tips Tiger could give President Obama after his debacle over the last week.

1) Hoes in Different Area Codes.
2) Have close trusted friends book flights and Hotels for these hoes to visit.
3) Be sure to leave large "Tips" or pay offs with certain Hoes you're afraid will talk.
4) Give your wife kids so she has to be occupied with raising them.
5) Deny! Deny! Deny! Until you're caught.
6) Keep all potential Weapons and golf clubs away from your wife when you are caught.
7) Pay attention to all surround trees and fire hydrants on the street your house is on.
8) Pay your wife to stay with you to attempt to untarnish reputation.
9) Call mistresses to take their names off their phones.
10) Go into hiding.

These were thrown together on a whim in the middle of a Black Berry Messenger conversation, but I'm too busy to have thought out and drawn out new tips. So.... enjoy these. If you want to add others put them in the Comments section of the post.

Maxims Married Man Oral Chart

2009-12-01T14:17:00.006-06:00

Thought this was pretty funny. Highly disturbing part is the 10% From Other Dudes. That's just NOT right! But then again it is from Maxim and they like to throw the disturbing in there from time to time. Funny note, my ex called Maxim smut, but both of my sisters both agreed that there is useful information in there and good articles.

How Pumpkin Pies are made!

2009-11-25T14:46:00.002-06:00

Have a good ThanksGiving everyone. Hangovers are a biatch!

Cowboys Observations Week 11

2009-11-20T11:25:00.008-06:00

I bailed pretty quickly on the Cowboys previews and reviews of prior games, and upcoming games pretty quickly. Think I only lasted about 3 weeks doing that, which sort of shows how lazy I am when it comes to this blog. I blame people getting pregnant. No, not anyone I've diddled with, but a girl at my office that just gave birth yesterday and I'm now having to cover her work while she's out on maternity leave. I no longer get that extra time to take from work to blog. Today I'm making an exception because it's Friday, and since some of the people in the office are going up to the hospital to see said baby... I'm sneaking this in.

The Cowboys are 6-3, after a dismal performance in Green Bay but I think this is still a good team. A lot will be determined this weekend when the Washington Redskins come to town because I want to see what type of adjustments they are going to make. With Marc Columbo going down for the rest of the season with a broken leg and Ken Hamlin out possibly for a month with a high ankle sprain we'll get a chance to really see what some back ups can offer. Honestly I'm not worried about Doug Free, who will be playing Right Tackle for Columbo because he's been here for a couple years now and from all reports he's really improved over the last year. The fact that he came in during the Green Bay game and you never heard more about him for the rest of the game says a lot. Lineman are the type that don't usually take the spotlight and when you're not hearing about them, then they're doing their jobs.

What scare me is the injury to Hamlin. We haven't heard from him much this season as we did last season, but that's because he's been good in the backfield. I haven't seen as many deep plays as we have in recent years and a lot has to do with the play of Hamlin. Where I think he presence will be missed the most are with the quick adjustments on the field during a play. During the Philly game when Michael Jenkins went to the inside of Desean Jackson to stop the short route, Hamlin yelled at Jenkins to get back and run. That's when Jenkins turned and ran with Jackson and eventually got the pick. Hamlin's knowledge and experience will be missed and I hope that Alan Ball can just be serviceable back there. Luckily for Ball, his first game at Safety is against the Redskins who haven't been very good in the passing game. But don't discredit Santana Moss, he seems to like playing the Cowboys and can create his own damn highlight real to all his games here. Another noteable Cowboys-killer the Redskins will be missing is Chris Cooley. Any Cowboys fan knows how much you hate Cooley, and every Fantasy player loves Cooley when he's playing the Cowboys.

I mentioned the adjustments earlier and I really think that's what Wade try's to hang his hat on. But I don't want to talk about the defense, I want to talk about the offense, and particularily one player... Miles Austin. I love that he has stepped up and become a player for this team. Yet just like with Tony Romo when he stepped in and started lighting things up, once teams have some consistent film on this guy they can make adjustments to isolate, or neutralize him. This is where Ray Sherman, Cowboys Receiver Coach, needs to work with Miles and understand what teams are doing to keep him off his routes, prevent him from getting deep, etc. typically with speed receivers you want to jam them early to stop the timing route, and have someone covering over the top with some combination of a corner/safety, or linebacker/corner. Lets see what the Cowboys can do.

Last week was a horrible loss. The Cowboys just couldn't get going, never really got any momentum although their defense played great until the end and that's just because they were tired. Green Bay came out and did what they wanted to by controlling the time of possession and keeping the Cowboys offense off the field. Cowboys really do need this win this week and hopefully they will fight it out for this game. They're still number 1 in the NFC East thanks to the Philadelphia loss, but this division is always tough and the Cowboys need all the ground they can get. Small note... This has now been three games in a row that I haven't noticed a Flozell Adams false start (I'm sure I just jinxed it... Knock on Wood).

Goodbye Reunion!

2009-11-18T14:46:00.005-06:00

Yesterday marked a very important time for Dallas sports fans. Reunion Arena finally fell and I want to share some of my own personal memories from the the home of the Dallas Mavericks, Stars, Sidekicks and the Desperados. I really enjoyed going to games there as a kid with my dad. One of my dads buddies, Rusty is a friend with Don Carter (Former Owner of the Mavericks from 79-99) and we make full use of this friendship by getting to sit courtside for some games when Rusty didn't use his tickets. On the occasion we'd be at a Mavs game at the same time as Rusty we would watch one half in our upper bowl seats, and the other half in open seats either on the floor or in the lower bowl. I got a chance to meet Don Carter at a game and he really was a very personable person. You always knew he was at a game because he'd always wear a Cowboy hat. Other than meeting Don Carter the other most vivid memory was when we got to sit courtside during a Mavericks/Bulletts game and I saw Manut Bol up close. I remember telling my dad he looked like the alien in the shadows from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Other vivid memories were of going to Sidekicks games where Tatu would always throw his jersey into the stands after scoring a goal, the Barnum & Bailey Circus and college basketball. It truly was a well used stadium. The last game I saw in there was a game in 99 when I was there for a fraternity rush event where we had tickets for about 30 people in the lower upper bowl. There was NOBODY there to support the Mavs but since there was a crowd of us we were easily the loudest group. New owner, at the time, Mark Cuban loved our energy and actually came up into the stands and hung out with us offering to buy everyone (over 21, he specifically mentioned that) a beer after the game. Honestly I don't remember who they were playing, or what the outcome of the game was... I'm going with they lost... since most of college was a drunken blur. Reunion Arena will be missed and hopefully the lose of Reunion will help the Stars get back into the Stanley Cup, since the last time they were there was at Reunion. Curse Factor?

Calling out Myself

2009-11-11T13:12:00.008-06:00

I used to blog heavily when I was starting out in my roots on Myspace. Before Facebook opened up to the entire world, and tweeting was what birds did, I loved blogging about my life on Myspace. I felt that I brought a good balance of satire, humor and casual life observances to my readers. But I ruined any sort of credibility when I went through rough patch in my life and my postings went uber serious, sad, and depressing because the humor had escaped my life. Forced humor can be easily detected and never has the same effect of natural flowing quick wits and one liners. Yet, anyone that knows me, knows I muscle through them because that one time I will hit that home run, that game winning, buzzer beater, hail mary. The problem with a blogger, and with most things, is that peoples attention spans are so short that you can quickly lose them. I feel I sadly lost a lot of people through my, let's call it "Blue Year" and I have been trying to regain my former glory, if there ever was such a thing.

When I decided to branch out and actually start a blog I hoped to be able to post weekly. Not only blog about SPORTS (my number one passion) but humorous life instances and general tom foolery. Sadly, I've found that I've defaulted to sports. Which I'm completely OK with because sports has been a common denominator (That's right... I went Math on yo ass) in my life through everything. As I find myself reading other peoples blogs, and what they write about, I realized what really made people want to read what I have say was all the general stupidness that floats around in my head, it's even worse on a hangover days! Then I look back on what I've defaulted to was using those observations on sports. Don't get me wrong, it combines the two things I love the most, sports, and ME! Maybe I'll get back around writing more about what I observe in life, but that part is also takin a bit from twitter and facebook (and I am ridiculed daily about tweeting) but I just don't have the extra avenues that I had before when I traveled constantly for work. Being in new places all over the country opened me up to so many extra experiences that I don't have anymore now that I'm desk reddened in an office 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. I guess we'll see what happens, but life has been busy. Work has been busy, and it just pulls my time away from being able to blog. In fact, I'm currently falling behind on current work projects typing this, but I'm using the time I generally take for lunch to type this since I brought left over pizza from home to eat. Which brings up a point. Pizza is only good at 2 times. Fresh from the oven, or cold! NEVER REHEATED!

Things I've failed to accomplish that I've started, or wanted to talk about on here;
- All the celebrity deaths that we've had this year. That's right "Breaking news; Michael Jackson dead at 50!"
- Weekly Observations/Previews of the week prior and upcoming Cowboys games.
- Preview/Review of the Texas Rangers potential, and now new Hitting Coach Clint Hurdle.
- Steve Phillips' Fatal Attraction and why you don't date 22 year olds!
- The release of Larry Johnson and Sammy Sosa becoming a white guy.
- The emergence of Miles Austin, and the recovery of Tony Romo.
- Why I'm the biggest Hypocrite of the all.
- and so much more...

Some of these I still have a chance to write about. It's still 2009, the Mavericks are still playing, the Cowboys are still playing, the Rangers are far from Spring training, Sammy is inevitably going to be white now and Larry Johnson hasn't found a team yet. So there's still chance for me. I just have to get off my arse and type some of this shit up but they way things have been going, and going to go just be patient with me. Please? Pretty Please with sugar on top?

Haha... Sometimes You need a Laugh

2009-11-10T13:27:00.006-06:00

Sorry I've been MIA. I really want to write more but I've had so much crap going on lately that I've been too lazy to appease you readers... all 2 or three of you. So to bide my time here's a funny cartoon clipping that was posted on i-am-bored.com. I chuckled.

Congrats Big and Brown

2009-10-27T14:53:00.004-05:00

I'm proud of some fellow Bloggers potentially moving up in the Blogging World. Big and Brown over at thebigandthebrown.blogspot.com have been asked to contribute to MavsMoneyball. I'm sure it's quite pointless to post this on here because any of you readers more than likely came over from their blog. But Congrats to them and I look forward to seeing what it does for them being on there. Power to the Blogger... I think!

Falcon Balloon Boy Pukes... Twice!

2009-10-16T10:38:00.011-05:00

On my way into the office this morning Gordon Keith, Producer for the Musers on 1310 The Ticket, shared the audio of the Heene family on with Wolf Blitzer last night talking about the events of the day. If you want to see the video I highly suggest going to Gordon Keiths website and viewing it here. Honestly, I don't know if it was a publicity stunt or what. I know I was right there in line making the jokes about it being one even when they had just found the boy wasn't in the balloon and feared he fell out. If you listen to the interview on Wolf Blitzer I found it funny that the father got defensive when he felt Wolf was insinuating the entire event was a publicity stunt and said "Originally we weren't going to do an interview... but the media people said if we did this one, we wouldn't have to for the rest of the week", then they end up on the Today Show and Good Morning America where everyone got to view live television gold. Falcon, the newly famous "Falcon the Balloon Boy", obviously can't take all the extra fame and in the middle of both interviews he had to puke. What I can't believe is that in both interviews the cameras just kept rolling and they never stopped.

I found both of the videos on Huffington Post but I've added them here for your viewing pleasure.

Today Show
If you can fast forward, advance it to about 5:50 in for the moment of truth. Usually I can't take this kind of crap, because it makes me queezy, but for some reason since I'm viewing this out of humor, it makes it semi ok.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Good Morning America
For some reason the video player wouldn't allow me to pull the embeded code so I in it's place I put the picture I snagged from the video. To watch it just click on the picture and it will take you to the Huffington Post page where the video is. When you watch the video you need to fast forward it to about 4:15 left. You don't actually see him puke, but as the interview goes on you can hear him in the bathroom releasing the demons. The funniest part of this is when Falcon say he's going to vomit his brothers face is priceless, as you can see.

As a little bonus fun (Since this Heene family is so wierd) you can also view Falcon Heene rap video, yes... I said RAP video. This kid is so going to be the coolest kid at school on Monday, or the most ridiculed. Either way, sucks to be him.

Sports Quick Hits

2009-10-14T15:21:00.006-05:00

Rangers and 15 year Hitting Coach Rudy Jaramillo part ways.
I'd like to say that I'm completely upset about this, but frankly I'm really not. He is considered the best hitting coach in the Majors, and if you look at some of the big sluggers he's coached like Juan Gonzalez, Raphael Palmiero, Alex Rodriguez and some of the good hitters like Michael Young and Frank Catalanotto he's got a salty resume. But the Rangers ended the season with something like a .260 Team Batting Average and as a fan this teams batting slumps have really cost us pennant chances. I want to go more into depth on this, but my stance is that I'm OK with the separation. I'll take the loss of all the home runs on the season for a higher Batting Average, lower strikeouts and more walks. I want to do a little more research and put together a posting in the near future on this.

Cowboys bring in Allen Rossum as a Return Specialist.
Yes, he's the guy that was at Atlanta several years back, but recently was with the San Francisco 49ers but was cut because they needed a roster spot for Mr. Michael Crabtree. In fact I once sat next to him on a flight back from Atlanta to Dallas and I couldn't believe that he is an NFL player... He small. But I guess after Crayton's muffed catch and Newman's bad fair catch call where the Cowboys ended up with the ball on the 3 yard line it was time for a change. I can't say this is a bad decision because we need something to change on this team, just didn't think it was the return game. What I do like about this pick up is that we don't have to risk injury to the already injury prone Terrance Newman, or Miles Austin (who I'm sure we'd all like to see more of at receiver).

Dallas Stars are 1-0-3 and cannot win a shoot-out.
Forget that there is hockey going on? Don't worry, you're not the only person. Like most people you don't start thinking about hockey until it's nearing playoff time but the Stars are not getting off on a hot start for new Coach Marc Crawford. Then again, they are without Mike Modano due to a rib injury and not Mel Ott with an oblique injury. But the season is early, and there's a lot of hockey left to be played so we'll see how this plays out. it's not like they're getting killed out there. The Stars just can't seem to win those shoot-outs.

Dallas Mavericks season opener is only 13 days away.
Can you feel the buzz? No? Neither can I, but I am excited to see this team on the court with all the additions of Drew Gooden, "The Matrix" Shawn Marion and former SMU great Quinton Ross.

They'll Blow it in the Playoffs!

2009-10-02T09:15:00.000-05:00

Oh, wait... you have to get in the playoffs for that line to work! Our little Texas Rangers play their final series of the season starting tonight against the Seattle Mariners. It was an amazing season for this young team and I have to admit, I feel a little to blame for the Rangers tanking it in the final stretch of the season. I caught flak from Brown at TB&TB because when I used to write about them they'd go on a losing streak, but I muscled through it and kept writing even when they won. Near the end of the season I started a new job and just got busy with everything outside of this blog and fell off the wagon a bit. I sat there and watched the losing box scores come in and never gave out my rally cry for the team, and for that I apologize. So lets take a look back at this miraculous season the Rangers had and look at what the Rangers of 2010 can bring us, because lets face it, wasn't this season the project season for next season anyways?

Pitching
If you would have told me that Scott Feldman was going to be an 17 game winner and the entire pitching staff would be a top 10 American League pitching staff I would have thought you were crazy and told you to go take another hit off whatever you'd been smoking. But that's the reality we're living in. Other than the stat for Quality Starts (12th) they are in the top 10 in all other categories. Which still shocks me because this pitching staff, I feel is still thin. We lost Brandon McCarthy for most of the season and when he came back, he was like a new player. McCarthy came back and showed good command on his pitches which he didn't show much of before, and yes, that could be because of the stress fracture in his shoulder, but he came back more confident. Millwood started the season very strong, and really got screwed by our seemingly lack luster offense at times when he would pitch a phenomenal game and end up losing the game by 1 run. Although you could tell through the meat of the season and towards the end he either was getting tired, or just hit a stretch where he lost command of the mound. I think it took him four or five starts at least to get over the 10 win hump. So we'll see what Millwood can do as he enters his 13th season, 5th with the Rangers and 2nd with Mike Maddux since he hit his innings pitched option for the last year of his contract. Some of the bright spots, and surprises of this season that we have to look forward to is the bevy of young pitching that stepped up for is this year. Guys like Derek Holland, Tommy Hunter and Neftali Feliz have proven that they're major league pitchers and all should be on the roster next year. I'll be interested to see what Maddux does with Feliz's talents. Personally I'd like to see him move into the closer role. I'm going to go out on a limb and say he's got the stuff to turn himself into a Mariano Rivera and if anyone can get him there it's Mike Maddux.
For 2010 - I'd like to see them add a solid starter to this rotation. With Millwood, Feldman, McCarthy and Holland or Hunter if we could add one more veteran starter I think it would help stop the bleeding when we get into stretches of bad pitching, and teach some of the younger guys. Some people I could see the Rangers targeting would be Brad Penny, Jason Schmidt, or Brandon Looper. Penny has come back from his injury and pitched pretty solid for San Francisco. Jason Schmidt was a Cy Young runner up several years ago but has battled through some injuries recently (You know how the Rangers like to get pitchers that could be quality but have been down so you get them cheap). Brandon Looper is a guy that has been a good Starter up in Milwaukee, but was previously with St. Louis and has post season experience.

Infield
At the beginning of the season everyone was up in arms when the Rangers decided to call up Elvis Andrus to play short stop over Michael Young. There were talks that because of the move Young was unhappy and wanted to be traded, until Young did what he always does and proved why he is the leader in the locker room and said he'd play Third base. Well, I don't think anyone is going to complain about the move after everyone got a chance to see what skills Andrus brings to this infield. The range, the speed and the arm that just we were not going to get out of the 33 year old Young. I'd like to see Andrus increase his On Base Percentage because of his stealing capabilities, but then again he is only 20, and this is his first season in the majors. The addition of Omar Vizquel seemed to pay off in helping Elvis' maturation, the depth in the infield and just having a quality veteran when Elvis or Ian Kinsler needed a day off. I was glad to see Chris Davis was able to work out whatever kinks he had in his approach at the plate, but we still need to see more consistency out of him until I can say he's our full time starter. Someone I'm sad to see go will be Hank Blalock. His contract is up this year and although he's been battling injuries for the last few seasons, he just hasn't been able to show the durability to be a full time starter, or the consistency to be the full time DH. Ian Kinsler is just a stud, and if you've ever listened to his show on 1310 The Ticket with Bob and Dan he is hilarious. The catcher position will be interesting to watch this offseason with the acquisition of Former Ranger Great, Current Ranger Great Ivan 'Pudge' Rodriguez. The funny thing about the beginning of the season everyone talked about how deep we were at catcher and this was the position we ended up having to fill with a trade in the season. If the Ranger bring Pudge back next season we'll have Saltalamacchia, Teagarden and Max Ramirez fighting for a spot on this team. Personally I'd like to see Pudge back because his experience behind the plate, and time in this league he knows how to call a game.
For 2010 - I think the Rangers need to find a big hitting DH/1st Baseman. Unfortunately I read where Washington would like to Right Hand bat and most of the possible available 1st baseman with big bats; like Jim Thome and Adam LaRoche are lefties, unless you want to take a swing at Mike Sweeney or Chad Tracy, but I wouldn't go for either of those guys. Someone that I might look at is Joe Crede out of Minnesota. His numbers have been down so you might be able to get him at a lower cost, but he is a former All-Star and Silver Slugger.

Outfield
Well this area was also a surprise for this season. The surprise being that Josh Hamilton was not the rock star in the outfield. No, those honors go to Nelson Cruz. At the start of the season I was just hoping that the Rangers would find a way to get him involved. Cruz has a big bat, and a hell of an arm. It was surprising that Hamilton didn't do much this season, injury or no injury, something was missing this season. Hamilton struggled at the plate and had some bad errors in the outfield almost as if at times he wasn't paying attention. Maybe it has something to do with the whole "I fell off my rocker and almost had a foursome at some bar in Arizona" but something was off. Can we please make sure we keep Marlon Byrd? He's not a great player but he always seems to be there for the team when we need him. I hope the Rangers have learned from the David Dellucci's of the world that good players and good locker room guys are invaluable to a team. Another young guy that was fun to see play was Julio Borbon. A speed guy and decent fielder with good range because of his speed. I'm not sure if he's quite a full time starter, but a lot of that has to do with the depth we have in the outfield with Hamilton, Cruz, Byrd, Jones and Borbon. Baseball-Reference.com has Borbon projected 162 game stats (what his current stats would look like had he played the entire season in the majors) with a .313 batting average, 15 home runs, 72 stolen bases and 113 runs scored. Not to shabby if he's your lead off, or second hitter in the lineup.
For 2010 - Bring back Byrd. That's first and foremost. Byrd's contract is up, and he's been nothing but a good player on this team and showed he is a solid player. I can guarantee you that if the Rangers don't pick him back up he'd get snagged by someone else very quickly. Figure out what role you want Julio Borbon because I think this guy needs to be on this roster next season, which is weird to say because when I saw him play in Frisco I thought he looked like a good player, but didn't see anything special out of him until we got to see what he could do against the big league rs. Hopefully Hamilton will get everything straightened out in his life during the off season. I'm sure things on the home front were not good with his little bar escapade and mentally that could have been a drain on him. Get him working with the trainer and Rudy to work on his conditioning and approach. Honestly I think the outfielders we have are good and the only reason I would see to add to them is if you can find that additional bat as a DH and hope it's someone that you can play at first also.

I'll do another posting on the Ranger Ownership another time. There's so much to speak about there and it all points to Nolan Ryan in my eyes. This was about the on field talent and players.

Blue Jays Catcher goes Muff Diving for Foul Ball

2009-10-01T16:35:00.005-05:00

"So you come here often?"

I'm sorry, but when I saw this at first I thought it was funny. Then I found out that this was former Rangers great Rod Barajas. Oh but the hilarity didn't stop there. The fun part about pictures is paying attention to everything in the photo, and with action shots like this into a crowd, you get facial expressions. It became hilarious when I noticed the blonde getting an unexpected visitor downstairs has a guys arm draped around her. Does that qualify this as a threesome? Then I noticed that there are two people in the stands looking directly at Barajas' ass. One being the girl in the Blue coat with her Red Sox hat off, the other being the guy to the left with the black and purple jacket on with the creepiest "Oh yeah, that's nice" expression on his face. Gotta love crowd shots.

Sporting a New Look

2009-09-30T15:24:00.007-05:00

Just like Jerry Jones, The Late Michael Jackson, Jerry Jones, Bruce Jenner, Jackie Stallone, and just about everyone else in the lime light, The Bears Cave has gone under the knife, figuratively speaking. As you can see, I've updated the style of my little blog but not with out some headaches along the way, of course there's a double reason behind all of this. I decided to use my site as a guinea pig before I start to update my companies website since we will be using wordpress to manage it. I've been doing my research, and obviously I didn't do enough because there is a fun learning curve to this.

I'm not a programmer! I'm not a coder! I have an affinity for computers, and technology, and was once determined to get my College degree in Business Computer Information Systems. That was until I hit my first programming class and found myself up at 4am trying to find a single comma, or semi-colon that I left off a line of code to complete a string. It was at that very moment I decided "This isn't for me!" and I switched into marketing. I know enough about certain types of codes that I can navigate through the lines to find what I'm looking for and edit small things... but shit, I've done about as much coding in the last few days/weeks to last me a long while and I know I have more coming. It all gives me tired head.

Did you know that the new Blogger Templates went to XML? I thought I had a good enough grasp on HTML but XML doesn't work quite the same. So I have a bit of a learning curve here. While updating things I noticed a couple non-coding things that Blogger needs to fix (and before you say anything I know Wordpress does have some of these feature);

- Pages within Blogs - You cannot create unique pages within a Blogger blog. So the trick is to create an old post that you link the pages to so that you can have an About, Shop, Contact page.

- Extra Spaces when adding images - Seriously... I'm tired of adding images to my post and having all the spacing jacked up. Every time I add an image I get a new line space at the top of my page and all the paragraph spacing gets thrown off. Annoyance!

- Don't Remove my Widgets - When you upgrade, or change your template on Blogger it conveniently deletes all the fun sidebar items you had, especially, and most frustrating, all my links that I visit. I still haven't added them all back because I got tired head.

Cowboys - Giants Film review... The Good, The Bad, The Oh Sooooo Ugly!

2009-09-25T15:04:00.008-05:00

I think I’ve let enough time pass from the Giants loss that I can now talk about the Cowboys – Giants game and not want to off myself. So lets do a little film review of the game, without the film and take a look forward to Mondays game with the Carolina Panthers.

The Good
Well there wasn’t a whole lot that was “Good” from this game but if you really look back at the game the Cowboys were there to win it, and had the game in their hands to lose. But the Run defense was pretty solid. I was really worried about Brandon Jacobs demolishing our defense after letting Cadillac Williams and Derek Ward run all over us in the Tampa game. Jacobs was held to 58 yards on 15 carries and rarely was given open running lanes. On the flip side our running game was monstrous. As mentioned before we really need to utilize our Three Headed Monster of Barber, Jones and Choice and we did just that. The trio combined for 228 yards on 27 carries and just kept the Cowboys with the ability to put together long drives and keep Eli Manning from exploiting our shotty secondary.

The Bad
Pass Rush. Wow is our Pass Rush terrible! We couldn’t get a sack on Byron Leftwich and we rarely got any pressure on Eli Manning. The few times we did get pressure on Eli he threw bad balls to his receivers, and it got the defense out of some potentially damaging drives. Were beginning to find out what this team is really made of. I didn’t want to think the loss of Greg Ellis and Chris Canty on the line was that detrimental but it’s now becoming a major issue that needs to be addressed. On the offensive side Romo was just plain Bad. Romo will have bad games like that from time to time and if he wants to assert himself as a legitimate quarterback he needs to learn how to bounce back from these types of games. Just looking back at the two games he’s played this season he seems to have lost a little touch on the ball. He can’t get the short throws right, constantly overthrowing Felix, or Marion in the flats and his long throws are too long. I don’t know what wrong with him but he needs to figure it out fast or I’m sadly going to have to agree with that jackass in the offseason that said by the end of the season Kitna will be the starting QB.

The Oh So UGLY
Where to begin. Well the most glaring, and obvious, place to begin is with the secondary, and in particular the Nickel coverage. It seems Dave Campo has needs to get off his ass and teach these guys how to jump routes. Then again, the secondary could use a little assistance from the Defensive line in getting pressure on the QB. I don’t care who’s under center, but when you give a guy 10 seconds or more to stand in the pocket Tarvaris Jackson would find an open receiver. Also, Orlando Scandrick needs to stop reading from the Roy Williams Tackling book and wrap up. In fact, the entire defense needs to put that book down and re-learn how to tackle and wrap up. I’m tired of watching these guys go flying through the air trying to do Edge’s spear. There were so many times when the Giants players made it look like everyone that had the ball they looked like superstars shedding tacklers and making the Cowboys look stupid. My last Ugly is Barbie Carpenter. I tried for a little while to support him, give him the benefit of doubt because he just hasn’t had a chance to play with Veterans above him but shit… That boy sucks. Why did we let Kevin Burnett leave? Carpenter doesn’t seem to have any range in coverage and the only 2 things he’s good at is special teams and being the on field cheerleader trying to get the crowd excited. Word of Advice Bobby; Why don’t you pay attention to your assignments and not worry about the crowd!

Cowboys – Panters Preview

So do we have anything to look forward to this week or have the Dallas fair weather fans already given up on this team? Luckily the Cowboys drew the Panthers as their next opponent, but don’t think it will be a cake walk. We all thought the Tampa game was going to be a cake walk and the Bucs were in that game for a good portion of the competition. I could almost just cut and paste what I’d like to see for this week’s game from the Cowboys – Giants preview and it’s again mostly defense heavy.

Some sort of a pass rush
Can we please see any sort of a consistent pass rush? I don’t know what Wade has done, but I’d like to see more pressure on the quarterback. Delhomme has been struggling and we need to take advantage of that. Throw some new stunts on the line, move Demarcus Ware around, put in some more blitz packages, whatever needs to be done, do it. Demarcus Ware led the league in sacks last year and for some reason we can’t get him to the Quarterback. More than likely I think it’s because offensive lines are not afraid of this defensive front and can key on Ware, bringing extra blockers, or multiple blockers to pay attention to Ware. I’d like to see someone other than Ware get a few sacks this week. Maybe one from Anthony Spencer or Bradie James? When the line has to worry about someone other than Ware it will free Ware to line up and do what he does best.

Wrap up, form tackling
No more from the Roy Williams tackling book. Square up, key in, explode through your legs through the player and wrap up. I can’t even tell you how many time me, Big and Brown grimaced in agony when Scandrick was flying off a player because he didn’t wrap up, or the Cowboys would get the initial contact on the player behind the line and because they didn’t wrap up they’d brush him off and still bounce forward for 6 or 7 more yards. I thought Wade Phillips was some defensive guru when he was at San Diego and last year when he took control of the defense from Brian Stewart? Well right now the Cowboys seem to have forgotten the most basic part, and critical part of playing defense… Tackling! If we can’t figure out how to tackle DeAngelo Williams and Steve Smith are going to make us look stupid as they wiggle out of the back field, or past the defender with their jock straps in their hands.

Romo bounces back
Romo was just horrible last week. Of course one of his interceptions was a fluke, where the ball bounced off Wittens heel, but Romo’s pass was way behind Witten and if he was accurate with that pass it would have been at least a first down if not more because Witten had a good 2 steps on the defender. I’d just like to see Tony bounce back and have a good game. He doesn’t need to throw for 400 yards and 6 touchdowns. Just be accurate and keep the ball away from the defense. Romo clearly is difference maker on this team and he needs to step up and play like a veteran leader. I know everyone wanted to blame TO for everything but something that I noticed last week is when something bad happened on the field Romo just went and sat on the bench by himself. Whether TO was complaining, or whining, you know TO was telling Tony what he’s seeing out there and I haven’t seen any emotion from Tony. Tony needs to shut up his critics with this game and go on a string of good outings or I just might be calling for Kitna to start.

How soon until we can start to hear a Shanahan chant from the stands?

I'm Horny for New Technology

2009-09-23T10:29:00.007-05:00

Still avoiding Cowboys talk, I'll get to the Cowboys - Giants Review (The Good, The Bad and the oh so ugly) and Cowboys - Panthers Preview later. But, I saw @oliviamunn tweet this and holy crap... I WANT ONE.

Mavericks new Uniform

2009-09-21T15:00:00.004-05:00

I'm avoiding talking about the Cowboys today. Not listening to any sports talk stations! Not working on my Cowboys film review (The Good, The Bad, The OH SO Ugly)! Nothing because I need time to recover after last night. So.... Lets say hello to the Mavericks new Uniform.

I'll be your mannequin if you don't trade me!

I'll give Jason Terry a pass for the tarded pose because he's just happy to still be on the team after the first round of offseason revolving doors. I like them, but that's also because I like the green versions of these jerseys. Although I don't think the blue is needed because I think the Green ones are their best jerseys. But that's my opinion

Cowboys - Buccaners Film review... Without the Film!

2009-09-15T23:00:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd start something that would help to force me to write something every week since I guess I've been lazy with this blog that last month or so; But hey, you're not paying my car payment, rent, bills, etc. I'm going to look at some of the keys I took from the game, things I noticed, and what I'd like to see improved on for the Cowboys next week opponent with a little pre-game preview. So let's have a little funny being judgmental from my un-important sports brain.

What I noticed
Romo looked a little Rusty -
Only to start the game. Of course we all know that he posted a career high in passing yards for a game with 353 yards passing with 3 LONG touchdowns. That's nice and all, but he could have played much better. he looked uncomfortable in the pocket, seemed indecisive at times and seemed to lose his touch on the timing routes. The problem I'm hoping is corrected is that although we got some big plays from Williams, Crayton and Austin, against better secondaries those aren't going to be there. The 66 yard TD to Williams is a play that with better a secondary won't be available. Excuse handout - He's still getting a rapport with his receiving corp of Roy Williams, Patrick Crayton, Miles Austin and Sam Hurd.

Defense Scares the living Bejesus out of me -
Tampa Bay has some good players, but we let Byron Leftwich dissect our secondary, and Cadillac Williams exploit a soft interior. Now I know the secondary has been a question mark going into the season, and honestly I think this group can be pretty good, but the secondaries performance Sunday was not good. If they play like they did in this game against any other team with decent receivers we're going to get torched. All game I it looked like we were playing a soft zone, giving the receivers a cushion and that's why we got beat on simple screens and dump off passes. I don't know if it was Wade's scheming, or play calling but something is going to have to change because giving up 174 rushing yards to Cadillac Williams and Derrik Ward is not going to cut it when we have to play New York and the man-child that is Brandon Jacobs. Excuse handout - Wade Philips made errors in play calling and scheme adjustments that he just didn't pick up from Raheem Morris' offensive tendencies.

The Three Headed Running Back Monster is just that -
I, like everyone else that watched the game with me (which wasn't many because I had to watch it around a buddies daughters 1 year birthday party where there was only 4 of us watching the game instead of the festivities), were pretty shocked when we saw Tashard Choice in the backfield. But I liked the move, and I am completely on board with utilizing all three, Choice, Barber and Jones. Actually I was pretty astonished when people said they didn't see much from the running back position but I disagree. When Tashard, or Barber, Jones would get a big rush (and when I say big I mean for a first down or more) it would be at a critical point in a drive. In the end, yes, I would have like to see more from the running game but when the passing game is working, you don't need the running game as much. Excuse Handout - We didn't need the run when the passing game was working for us.

The Offensive Line wasn't great, but wasn't bad -
Watching the game, ans listening to the reactions from callers to some of the local radio stations people wanted to criticize the Offensive Line for their bad play. Well, I don't think they played bad, but I also don't think they played good. Just as I mentioned in my Cowboys off-season review this year is going to be determined a lot by the O-Line. The running game seemed stagnant and a lot of that starts with the Offensive line and picking up the gaps and moving people out of the way. There wasn't a lot of chances for the running backs to get to the second level (being the line backers and secondary) up the middle and it forced plays to go outside. Their pass protection was decent, giving up only 1 sack, and they always seemed to be able to pick up Tampa's blitz. On a lighter note... Not a single False Start for Flozell Adams all game. Seriously, that should go into the record books for him. Excuse handout - I don't have one... I think they did a decent job!

Cowboys - Giants Preview
So with all that said, the upcoming Home Opener with the New York Giants is going to be the teams real test of this season. I know we'll see them again, and there's a lot of football still to be played, but The Giants are a tough team for the Cowboys (always have been) and can really jump start this Cowboys team within the division. What I'm going to need to see from the Cowboys after the Buccaneers game;

Tough at the line of scrimmage -
I've always been an advocate that the game is won and lost at the line of scrimmage and the offensive.defensive lines. The Boy's were decent on the offensive side last week, and not explosive on the defensive side. With Osi Umenyiora back this year, the Giants are going to be coming for Romo so the protection needs to be ready. One the defensive side the defensive line needs to be ready for the beast that is Brandon Jacobs. The Defensive line needs to know their assignments, fill their gaps and try to redirect Jacobs. You allow Jacobs to run north and South on you, it's like trying to stop a freight train.

Tighter secondary coverage -
I still think that the Giants are searching for that replacement for loss of Plaxico Burress. the Giants have some younger guys that are fast, like the Other Steve Smith, Mario Manningham and others, and that could cause some problems for the Cowboys. Some of the things you can do is try to bump them on the line, throw them off any timing routes, but the problem with that is you better have the closing speed to stay on your receiver. I liked what Gerald Sensabaugh brought to the secondary last week, and damn, he put a hit on Michael Clayton, and after watching the replay of the tipped catch TD of Stockley in the Denver - Cincinnati game I don't miss Roy Williams. If you missed that, Orton threw to Brandon Marshall who was covered and tipped the pass off his hands. Although Roy was there as the safety help, instead of tracking the ball he had his blinders on and was trying to make the hit on Marshall... Allowing Stockley to walk snag the tip ball and run untouched. Typical Roy!

Turnovers, Turnovers, Turnover -
This was something that we noticed on pre-season, but again, I try to remind people that it was only pre-season and you never know what the team is trying to do/establish/accomplish during a pre-season game. We were unable to sack Byron Leftwich once last week and we were unable to force a single turnover. Yes, we won, but if the defense plays as soft as they did against Tampa Bay we are going to lose the turnover battle for the season. Starts with the defensive front line. We need to put pressure on Eli forcing him to make bad decision and throw the ball in to tight coverage. Interceptions are an easy way to stop a game changing drive and limit the momentum a team can gain.

Homefield Advantage -
This is partly the team, and partly the fans. This will be the first meaningful game at Jerry World and the fans need to be loud and rowdy when the Giants have the ball. With all the metal and glass in this stadium it should be easy to make it hard for opposing teams to hear audibles and check offs from Quarterback and Linebacker.

What's the Affliction? Douchebag Society Part II

2009-09-14T23:27:00.001-05:00

Since there are just so many avenues to go with the Douchebag Society I think I can make this a mini series. We've already covered the many facets of the Douchebag throughout their maturation in the first installment (you can read it here). Now I want to talk a little about some of the clothing they wear, in particular the Affliction shirt. No shirt has captivated the Douchebag Society as much as the Affliction shirt has, and by god I can't stand seeing it anymore.

What is it about the Affliction shirt that has all of the douchebags in the world flocking to the nearest Buckle, Neiman Marcus, Macy's, or wherever they are sold? Well I think you have to start with how Affliction started. Affliction was started by Todd Beard, Tom Atencio, Eric Foss and Clifton Chason. Actually Chason and Foss started Digital Ink Creative Services in California as a commercial art and graphic design firm back in 1998. Doing design work for Pac-Sun, and other surf lines (Most surfers are more stoned versions of City Douchebags) it was only natural to want to get into the Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) boom... Bring on Todd Beard and Tom Antencio! Both Beard and Atencio are MMA fighters and with Chason and Foss they set out to design a line of edgy clothing bearing the logos of MMA fighters. I am a fan of MMA. It's boxing on steroids, and where else can you see a guy knee a guy put a knee to his opponents solar plexus and follow it up with an elbow to the temple? But since the Standard Douchebag is very much into himself and his looks MMA with their fighters, their workout regiment, and beating each other silly it was about time someone marketed a clothing line to that industry.

Now this is no knock on the clothing line, but personally I don't own an Affliction shirt, and don't see owning one any time in the near future. I have friends that wear Affliction, or Xtreme Couture (a spin off from Affliction with Kim Couture, Randy Couture's wife) and I'm not saying they are douchebags for wearing them, but the overwhelming majority of guys wearing Affliction are classified as Douchebags. I will say this though... Don't wear an Affliction shirt, Xtreme Couture shirt, or anything similar, when you're as big as jabba the hut or your gut hangs over your pants! All those skulls and crossbones with funky patterns all over the shirt are not slimming and don't make me think "Oh shit, that guy's a badass because he's got an affliction shirt!" I can see how the fat guy sees the draw to the Affliction shirt. You see these steroid ed out morons walking in with busty blondes while you're left twiddling your dingy, that is if you can find it under your gut, and thinking "Maybe if I dressed better, like that guy, it will help me with the ladies?" No... No it doesn't. Besides, you really want a girl that bases her decision on what you wear, what you drive, and how much you make?

Affliction spottings are not a rare occurrence. As I've mentioned in the first installement I can tell if a bar is a place I want to go to buy the amout of Affliction shirts you can spot. In fact, I decided to make a sliding scale chart to determine the doucheyness of a bar/club by the number of Affliction shirts you can spot. So as you can see I have it on a sliding 1-10 scale. 1 being the least douchiest where more than likely it's just that fat guy trying to look cool, and 10+ being the most douchiest where you might as well take out another mortgage on your house because your drinks are going to drop you $10 for a single, and $20 per Jager Bomb (or as I so affectionally call them Blasters). If you find yourself in a 10+ situation my word of advice is to not make eye contact with any of the douchebags, or their women because you might insight their roid rage. Keep your head down but watch your eyes from getting poked by the frosted tips and slowly proceed back out the the way you came in. In the event you bump into one of them and they start speaking to you, ask them where they got their hair done, and not in a condescending way but in a fake interested way while putting yourself below their level. Yes it will suck, but it's for your own good because once they get talking about themselves you have your exit. At this point, bolt for the door. They won't follow because they wont risk sweating and having their fake tan wash off.

So what is the affliction for the Affliction shirt? Again, I think this comes down to the Douchebag mentality of image. Affliction has masterfully aligned with MMA, and that represents physically fit guys that can kill you with a pinky, which means it's someone the douchebag idolizes. Side note; Wear your Affliction shirt out to your clubs/bars, but don't wear it to the gym! Especially the one that's an extra smedium with your shorts that can be more closely identified as tights. How long will the Affliction be a cult classic identifier with the modern day Douchebag? Who knows, but you can thank Affliction for offering you a barometer for whether or not you want to stay at this bar or that.

Don't forget that anytime you're out and you spot something that could be Douche Worthy take a picture of it with your camera phone, or just explain what you witnessed/overheard and email me at wheresthetobra@gmail.com and we'll determine just how douche worthy it is.

Why I hate POP!

2009-09-14T14:57:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I didn't watch the MTV Video Music Awards, but thanks to status updates and twitter everyone was bitching and complaining about Kanye. So today I decided to figure out what the hell happened. Kanye as a person... Pompous Douche... Kanye as a musician... you still have to respect his work. Anyways, I saw the Beyonce acceptance video for winning Video of the Year where she allowed Taylor Swift to give the rest of her acceptance speech and I saw what looks like someone wearing a damn birds nest on their face. What the hell is that crap?

Halo on Jerry Jone's New "Too Low" TV Screen

2009-08-25T11:36:00.000-05:00

Serioulsy... I'm jealous of whoever did this because this was my original thought when I first got a glimpse of this monster!

Quick Hits from the Bear's Brain

2009-08-21T12:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've semi gone into hiding recently, but that's just because I've been super busy. I had a deep see fishing trip last weekend, started a new job this week, so I've been setting desk up, computers, and currently researching our phone system so that I can get me voicemail working. Therefore, I haven't been able to blog once again, just as I was happy that I was able to catch up from old postings that were backing up. So I'm going to equate this posting to the gas buildup you get when you're on that first date. The one that after dinner it builds up at the movie, or even at the booth and you know it's not going to be silent, or odorless so you hold off and clinch your cheeks. Then as you walk outside it goes away, only to show back up when you're in the middle of making out back at your place until finally when she leaves, you kiss her at the door and unleash holy hell! So here it goes...

Vick signs with the Dreaded and Feared
I so did not see this coming. I had eluded to a possible fit with the Vikings, but I guess their sources were still planted right on Favre's face (more on that). I've said this to Big, but the only reason he was reinstated at all was because he made the most genius alliance out there... Tony Dungy. Dungy is not only the first African American coach to win a superbowl, but he's one of the most revered Christian coaches out there. So just like women who are trying to leave you, or Baseball players recovering from a relapse, you just can't trump the God Card. Now, as a Cowboys fan, I'm not really too worried about this move. Vick is not fighting for the starting job over McNabb, but could very well slip into the backup roll in front of Kolb. There are talks that the Eagles will run "some" wildcat formations with Vick and McNabb in the backfield, but I'm not really too worried about Vick as a Running Back, or even as a Wide Receiver. Why? Because he needs to get back into football shape. I don't care how much he's been working out! I'll use the Barbie Carpenter example. Everyone talks about how much of a workout phenom he is, it doesn't always translate into ON FIELD skills. So after Vick serves his remaining 6 game suspension we'll see what the Eagles are able to do in implementing a game plan with McNabb, Westbrook and Vick.

Brett Favre does it again
So I've touted on here again and again that I'm sick and tired of Brett Favre talk. Actually I was ecstatic when he decided to stay retired because I had about... Oh... 3 or 4 days without hearing his name in the media. Then Tarvaris had to go and fuck his knee up which brought back the talks. I swear Brett Favre hired Tonya Harding, she isn't doing shit and I doubt she's getting much from those Celebrity Fight clubs. As far as football goes, an aging ancient banged up Brett Favre is better than a healthy Tarvaris Jackson on his best day. Brett Favre's presence legitimizes their passing attack more, which will prevent teams from just throwing 8 guys in the box (non football terms: putting 8 guys up on the line of scrimmage to stop the running game). Do I think Favre will last the entire season? Doubtful. But hey, I'll take it since I have Adrian Peterson on my fantasy team.

The Rangers took the Wildcard lead.... Oh, wait... Damn!
While me, and a group of friends went down to the Gulf to do a little deep sea fishing the Rangers had a big series with the Wild Card leading Boston Red Sox. After taking 2 of 3 in that series the Rangers took the lead in the wild card standings, then only to lose it after splitting the series with the Twins. Nothing to panic with here (at least that's what I keep telling myself). But something that eases my mind is that I don't think the Rangers have been swept in a ser.... wait... I'm not going to jinx that. Let's just say they've remained competitive in every series this season and weirdly winning the games against good teams, but struggling with the down teams. Need to fix that Nolan! Lastly, Welcome back Pudge! Good to see you back in a Rangers uniform.

Go Tivo/DVR Royal Pains on USA
Royal Pains is by far one of my new favorite TV shows on right now. In fact there are a lot of good shows out that I hope don't disappear because I enjoy them. Better Off Ted on ABC, Burn Notice on USA and Leverage on TNT. Royal Pains is pretty damn good. I compare it to McGuyver but it takes place in the Hampton's and instead of building bombs out of toothpaste, a banana, a pencil, a soda can and a book of matches; Dr. Hank Lawson (Mark Feuerstien) is fashioning a chest decompression system with fish hooks and pulleys, or performing a tracheotomy with a ball point pen. It's got a good balance of comedy, with Hank's brother Evan R. Lawson (Paulo Constanzo) looking for new money for their Doctor Concierge business while also trying to find beautiful rich Hampton women, and serious story lines with Hank's balance with the local hospital and their policies and procedures. Oh, and the hospital administrator Jill Casey (Jill Flint) is so Hot! There's so much more to talk about with this show, but just record it and every once in a while USA will run a marathon with all the episodes so that you can catch up. I highly suggest it.

Whew... Now that I got that out it's like that point when after you've shut the door, probably ripped a hole in your shorts and vibrated the door you hope she doesn't come knocking back on the door because she forgot her lip gloss, or her glasses because I just fumigated the entire foyer.

Josh Hamilton sure knows how to party!

2009-08-10T16:03:00.000-05:00

"Isn't he married?"

So photos were released this past weekend of Josh Hamilton partying, and drinking at a bar back in January. For a guy that has battled a four year bout with drugs and alcohol, people are wondering if he's relapsed. Are you kidding me? Look, everyone's human. I've never had to battle an addiction, and from what Josh had to go through to get back into baseball it's only expected to have a lapse from time to time. Now I'm not defending him just because most make Rangers fans have a man crush on Josh, but that the reports say that the photos were from January, and the day after they happened Josh approached the Rangers association to apologize for them. Talk about taking responsibility... something that a lot of people need to learn. All I want to know is if someone could let me know next time he gives in to his addiction because it looks like it was a good time, here, here, here and here.

Why Brown wants a Motorcycle!

2009-08-03T16:10:00.001-05:00

"That'll teach you for playing with yourselves!"

So our good buddy over at TB&TB has mentioned that he wants a Motorcycle. After going over to i-am-bored.com I found out why.

Roy Halladay a Ranger?

2009-07-30T22:58:00.000-05:00

With the Major League trade deadline approaching, there's been a lot of commotion on the trading of Roy Halladay. Since the Phillies made the trade to bring in last years Cy Young winner Cliff Lee, they are now out of the Halladay talks. So that leaves the Dodgers and the Rangers in the speculations for the trade, with the Rangers being the front runners.

I thought I'd chime in and put my little stamp on the trade. As much as I would love to see the Rangers secure a legitimate ACE for this pitching squad; I'm really enjoying seeing what our young pitchers can do, and so far they've been producing. Just look at what Derrek Holland did last night against the Mariners he took a 1 hit shutout into the 9th inning with 10 strikeouts; That's salty! The Rangers have been sticking to their mindset of this youth movement and it's been paying off, sooner than they expected. Now I know that said in a past post that I'm OK with the Rangers making a trade only if it was to bring in an Ace for this pitching rotation, but I'm now sold on the youth movement. I don't want to see this interrupted, especially for what we're having to give up.

Currently the Rangers and the Jays have been in heavy discussion and it's coming down to names and money. The Jays have asked for Jules Borbon, Justin Smoak, and Derrek Holland. I'm sure after last night they are going to stay firm with Holland in the mix, but what I hate to give up is Justin Smoak. Of course no-one really knows what this kid will be able to do in the majors since he's only seen the minors so far, but all speculations is he's the real deal. Of course the other big stopping block is Halladay's contract which is roughly $16M. So for a team that is currently up for sale, and just borrowed money from MLB to afford payroll, it's a hefty blow when the combined contracts of Smoak, Borbon and Holland are less than Halladays. Oh, and there's one other nugget of information I've read... Hallady has said in the past that he doesn't want to play for the Rangers. Halladay can easily use his trade exemption if he doesn't like the team the Jays are trying to trade him to which would leave both sides standing with their dicks in their hands.

It's a tough call that Nolan Ryan and John Daniels have in front of them. Either way I'm OK with it, but I'd like to ride this year out with what we have. It seems to be working for us so far. But it would be nice to finally say that every fifth day we have a true ACE on the mound. So what are the Rangers going to do? Use some of the minor league chips you've been collecting from trading away your team for the last 3 years, or stick out the youth movement that you've sold all your fans on for a chance at a run for the playoffs?

Farve stays retired! For Now!

2009-07-28T18:04:00.000-05:00

Late this afternoon Brett Favre informed the Vikings Head Coach Brad Childress that he has decided to stay retired. THANK YOU LORD! Brad Childress informed the Minneapolis Star Tribune and I guess Favre spoke with Ed Werder with ESPN. Here were his comments to Werder;

"It was the hardest decision I've ever made,'' Favre told ESPN's Ed Werder. "I
didn't feel like physically I could play at a level that was acceptable. I had
to be careful not to commit for the wrong reasons. They were telling me, 'You
went through all this, you had the surgery and you've got to finish it off.' But
I have legitimate reasons for my decision. I'm 39 with a lot of sacks to my
name."

I just hope Green Bay can finally "Officially" retire his number, and Favre does what everyone has expected him to do when he retires... Disappear. Let's hope this is the end of the Favre Retirement soap opera.

It's like cramming for a test with no test date!

2009-07-28T16:35:00.000-05:00

Seriously I have been so back logged with postings, and I seem to be close to catching up. Maybe next time I wont take a month sabbatical from posting... but then again, my job has a lot to do with that. It's a little hard to blog from your car!

Figuring out the Rangers

2009-07-28T16:21:00.000-05:00

OK, so I've been trying to do a little house cleaning to catch back up with my little blog-o-sphere, and since I love to talk a little baseball, of course I want to talk about the Rangers. Since I started this article before the All-Star break, I've been continually editing it for the current status of the Ranger and I figured screw it... post what you've got and get ready to add to it in another column that you know you'll post anyways. What I've done is brought up some of my Ranger points that try to help you understand what THIS team has that teams in the past haven't... besides just the pitching.

I've mentioned it before several times that this team really isn't that different on paper than they were last year, and we all know how that turned out (79-83 and always praying to be in contention). But this year, so far (knock on wood), they're getting it done. So what's so different about this team? They look the same, they slump the same, they bat the same, yet they're staying right in it. Yes, Mike Maddox has brought "something" to this pitching rotation, yet one man can't change the entire team can he? I mean, I know this pitching squad has been dismal for so long, and it was obvious that it wasn't just the caliber of the players, and to prove that point just look at all the pitchers that flourished after leaving the confines of the Rangers organization (Edison Volquez, John Danks, Chris Young to name a few). I don't know what he's done differently than Mark Conner but as long as it keeps up, I really could care less to know.

Added Mike Maddox... OK, been covered, and that's the last time I'm going to cover that point on here because there's only so long that you can beat a dead horse. What else are your 2009 Texas Rangers doing? Could it be the addition of Elvis Andrus? I really think this has a factor in the Rangers this year. Elvis was a stud down in the minors. There was a reason we wanted him in the Teixeira trade and he's done nothing but live up to the hype. I know a lot of people were upset when they heard they asked to move Michael Young from short to third, but Elvis provides so much more than Young does. Now do not get me wrong, Young was a great Short Stop, good enough to make him an All-Star, but there were times where you could see his lack of range that Andrus doesn't seem to have. It amazes me sometimes just how far Andrus can stretch to make a play. The other factor that bringing Elvis up was that with Young moving to third, it brought you a gold glove winner to play third. Blalock was a local favorite, and a guy I cheer for but Young is far better with the glove than he is.

Added Maddox, and brought up Elvis Andrus... so what else have the Rangers done? Well, there's really no simpler way to put this but they've just learned to play the game of baseball, and believe they can play with anyone. You can't honestly say that they play small ball, although you can see more elements of that this year than in the past. The Rangers have always been a Long Ball team. Of course it also seems that's because they are all juicing (Jose Conseco, Reuben Sierra, Raphael Palmeiro, Juan Gonzales to name a few). Since Ron Washington has come in as the Manager we've seen the average number of stolen bases go up from the mid 60's to the mid 80's. Now I'd still like to see some better averages with runners in scoring position, but at least we're getting runners there.

So I guess we're all just in the same position of enjoying this Rangers team because for once we have something, so far, to root for. To be completely honest with you I really could care less if we win the division this year, because if the Rangers hold to this streak they will make the postseason with a wildcard spot. You know what? Rangers in the post season with a wild card spot sounds just fine to me!

You're 2010 Mavericks... So Far!

2009-07-28T14:28:00.000-05:00

Well just as I finished writing this, I come to find out that the Mavericks are not going to be getting Marcin Gortat. Seems the Orlando Magic were able to pull the bait and switch with Mark Cuban and now it left the Mavericks to scramble for another center. Then as I get done making the changes yesterday to this posting I find out the Mavericks pick up Drew Gooden. Good thing I've already titled this post "You're 2010 Mavericks... SO FAR!" So here goes with what I currently know the Dallas Mavericks squad to look like for the 2010 season.

So far... here's what you're 2010 Dallas Mavericks look like

Point Guard - Jason Kidd

The resigning of Kidd was crucial for the Mavericks. I'm sorry but Jose Juan Barea just isn't ready to be a full time starter, and although I enjoy poking fun at the guy, I doubt he'll ever be a full time starter. Rodrique Beaubois seems like he's got something, at least something better than his averages in the French League with only 10 points and 2.3 assists in 22.3 minutes, but then again he's barely played a few games in the Las Vegas summer league so I'm curious to see what Donnie Nelson saw in this guy. Then again, I've given up hope that Donnie knows anything about basketball drafts and support Brown in his petition to start firedonnienelson.com.

Shooting Guard - Josh Howard

With the addition of the Matrix, Shawn Marion, then that leaves Josh Howard with a role to fill. Big and I have discussed this in depth a few times because he's a basketball guy but I've come on board with having Josh play this role. You definitely want him on the court to begin the game because he brings too much to this team. I wish he wasn't so streaky but come on man "That's Crazy man... Can't control what da ball do." I also wouldn't mind seeing Terry in this role from time to time because I'm not against a front court of Kidd and Terry.

Small Forward - Shawn Marion

I don't know how Mark Cuban was able to pull this off, but I'm on board with this. Getting Marion for spare parts and cash? Go Cuban! And let's all be honest, this was Cuban orchestrating this and not Donnie Nelson. Nelson gets the draft! I've read reports, and heard radio shows speculate that the resigning of Kidd had something to do with this, and I won't discredit it. I just hope that Marion hasn't lost too much from the Marion I hated seeing in the playoffs when the Mavs and the Suns squared off.

Power Forward - Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk is Dirk, and will be a Hall of Famer. What will be missed from this group is Brandon Bass. He was an athlete that just played hard and the Mav's needed, and still need more of that. Of course it's not like the Mav's didn't want to bring him back, it's that they thought they were getting Gortat so they didn't need Bass. But Orlando pulled the sheets over Cuban's eyes and ended up getting Bass, and keeping Gortat even though he probably already had his bags packed and was house shopping here.

Center - Erick Dampier

I currently have Dampier listed as the starter, because honestly he should be the starter. I do though, however, see him losing minutes to Drew Gooden. Of course when I had this originally typed up I had Marcin Gortat as the starter because all the reports out there listed Gortat as the starting Center, with Dampier coming off the bench. I'm sure the Mavs might do the same with Drew Gooden, but this is my blog, and I think Damp should start especially since he's in his contract year, and he admitted to playing harder in his contract year at Golden State. Once he starts to show he's getting out hustled, out played, out matched, you pull him and throw Gooden in there. I honestly don't see Damp being with the Mav's by the end of the season.

6th Man - Jason Terry

Unless you're starting Terry at the 2 spot (That's the Shooting Guard for you basketball novices) he's still your spark plug off the bench. He's a shooter that knows how to bring some life to the team and let's not forget that he did help this team to the only Finals we've ever seen. Just saying.

Other Notable addition - Quinton Ross

This was a guy that the Mavericks targeted in Free Agency. Along with Gortat, Ross agreed to come here before you could officially sign free agents. I imagine he was brought in for depth and his defensive capabilities. Of course I know someone else that was a small forward, brought in for his defensive capabilities and decided to become a jump shooter even though "...you can't control what da ball do."

Cowboys 2010 Preview

2009-07-28T11:41:00.000-05:00

With the Cowboys reporting to training camp today in San Antonio, I thought I'd take a little time to look at the 2010 Dallas Cowboys, who they lost from 2009, who they've added, where I think they will be improved from last year and where I'm still worried. I'll try to keep this from turning into too long of a post but I want to cover the entire team. So you've been warned.

Quarterbacks
Starter - Tony Romo
Lost from 2009 - Brad Johnson, Brooks Bollinger, Richard Bartel
Added for 2010 - Jon Kitna, Stephen McGee, Rudy Carpenter
My Take - I think this year all depends on whether Tony Romo can stay healthy and what his rapport with Roy Williams is. Nobody knows if the loss of T.O. will help him or hurt him but Romo, the team and honestly we, won't know it until the end of the season when we're either lauding the release of T.O. or wishing we still had him. We all know just how shitty Brad Johnson was so Kitna cannot be any worse. As far as McGee goes I really don't care because he's a project guy that if he isn't swept up by another team off our practice squad we won't see him for at least 3 years.

Running Backs
Starter - Marion Barber III/ Felix Jones/ Tashard Choice
Added for 2010 - Alonzo Coleman
My Take -Run, Run, Run... That's what the 2010 Dallas Cowboys need to do more of! With a backfield this stacked with pure Football players you have to play to your strengths. Most reports out there still have the Cowboys sticking with MB3 as the starter, bringing Felix in as the swing man and Tashard as Barbers backup. Now, although I'm completely OK with that I really think that Felix should be the starter because he offers so much more with his speed and big break capabilities. MB3 is your power hitter that if you need 3 yards for a first, or a touchdown, he's the man to close it out. Tashard is your backup to Barber. They are both bigger backs that know how to run North and South. But I love this backfield, and you'd be stupid to think otherwise.

Wide Receiver
Starters - Roy Williams, Patrick Crayton, Miles Austin, Sam Hurd
Lost from 2009 - Terrell Owens
Added for 2010 - Willie Reid, Mike Jefferson, Travis Wilson, Manuel Johnson, Kevin Ogletree
My Take - Who's going to step up and play? I'm sure this is something that Ray Sherman hasn't implanted in this years receiving corp; Because say what you want about TO, the guy could still play, yes he isn't what he was, but it's a big loss when we need someone to make up for his consistent 1000 yards and double digit TD's. I like Roy Williams! I think he still has something to offer any team and can be the number one guy, but this all depends on if he's ready for that and, if Romo knows where to put the ball so he can catch it. What will make or break this squad is who has more to prove between Austin and Hurd. Stanback and all the other spares I've already forgotten because I could care less, but I am interested to see what Julian Hawkins can do. He's a receiver from Boise State that the Cowboys picked up as a free agent since he wasn't drafted. I might just keep him on my radar. But this comes down to Roy and who steps up between Austin and Hurd.

Tight Ends
Starters - Jason Witten and Martellus Bennett
Lost from 2009 - Tony Curtis
Added for 2010 - Rodney Hannah, Scott Chandler, John Phillips
My Take - Jason Witten, Never Quitten! We know Witten is the stud on this team and damnit one day I will get a Witten jersey. All of Marty B's shenanigans aside if he can continue to improve and bulk up you have two good down field threats to add to the weak wide receiver corp (That is until we know what they can bring). I would love to see a set on the field with your backfield with Barber and Jones; Split Felix out to a receiver with Crayton and Roy, then on the line you have Witten and Bennett going out in routes. Seriously who do you cover because you now have line backers covering the Tight Ends, and depending on the formation one could be forced to cover Felix Jones with the Corners on Williams and Crayton. Talk about the ability to miss match.

Offensive Line
Starters - Flozell Adams (LT), Kyle Kosier (LG), Andre Gurode (C), Leonard Davis (RG), Marc Columbo (RT)
Lost from 2009 - Joe Berger
Added for 2010 - Robert Brewster, Michael Turkovich, Travis Bright, Greg Isdaner, Ryan Gibbons
My Take - Being that I was a spare offensive lineman for my high school over a decade ago I believe that everything starts with the line. I loved that last year they brought back Hudson Houk as the Offensive Line coach (he coached the line during the Superbowl years and developed several Pro Bowlers) yet was very disappointed when we could not assert a running game last year. I know we have a big, physical line when they want to play yet last year I felt that the faster, more agile defenses exposed our large, lumbering line. The biggest struggle last year was Kosier's injury. Offensive lines perform better as a unit. When you have a guy that you've played 16 or 32 games next to you know where he is going to be, and he knows where you're going to be so it lets you focus on your job. So this year is going to depend a lot on if this line can stay healthy.

Nose Tackle
Starter - Jay Ratliff
Lost from 2009 - Tank Johnson
Added for 2010 - Junior Saivii, Tim Anderson, Jonas Seawright
My Take - Leave Ratliff in there until he dies. The guy just has a motor that runs until the whistle blows. Your typical Nose Tackle is just supposed to occupy the center and the guard. Tradition leans to teams drafting the biggest, fattest guy for the spot but with teams trying to be more athletic there's something for the team that has a guy with a motor like Jay's. So leave him alone... goodbye under performing Tank Johnson. Thanks for at least not shooting anyone while here.

Defensive End
Starters - Marcus Spears, Igor Olshansky
Lost from 2009 - Chris Canty
Added for 2010 - Igor Olshansky, Derrek Robinson
My Take - Canty was a player I was sad to see leave. I thought he was another one of those motor guys but he was asking for too much money. I would rather have kept Canty than Marcus Spears because other than Spears' first season, he's brought a big bag of nothing. I don't really know enough about Igor other than he played for Wade in San Diego and they're defense wasn't too bad when he was there. Sometimes the no-name guys are solid football players. In other words, they're the guys that don't miss their assignments and help people like Demarcus Ware run free.

Outside Linebackers
Starters - DeMarcus Ware, Anthony Spencer
Lost from 2009 - Greg Ellis
Added for 2010 - Victor Butler, Brandon Williams
My Take - Greg Ellis was probably the largest leader we had on the Defense. He is another guy that I was upset to see leave, but to be honest I was sort of OK with him being cut. Like other drama queens in football I was sick and tired of his constant contract negotiations. For more on that you can read this previous post. But for this years OLB's, a lot is going to depend on what Anthony Spencer was able to learn from Ellis and Ware. He was drafted because of his pass rush capabilities and if he can't contribute to this defense lets hope one of the younger guys is ready to prove something.

Inside Linebackers
Starters - Bradie James, Keith Brooking
Lost from 2009 - Zach Thomas, Kevin Burnett, Carlos Polk
Added for 2010 - Keith Brooking, Matt Stewart, Steven Hodge, Jason Williams, Steve Octavien
My Take - Could care less about the loss of Zach Thomas. Don't bitch and complain about the lack of team unity when you didn't do anything about it. Kevin Burnett was a big loss for this group. He was the nickel coverage guy and any time the Boys were in the nickel while he was injured you could tell something was missing. I actually like the addition of Keith Brooking. Of course I'm not a fan of his age, but as long as he still has a nose for the football like he has ever since moving to LB from DE in Atlanta, I like his size compared to Thomas'. Also, this has got to be a make or break year for Bobby Carpenter. If he doesn't prove he can play without AJ Hawk covering his ass it's time to part ways with him and that's hard for me to say because I'm an Ohio State fan.

Cornerbacks
Starters - Terrance Newman, Micheal Jenkins/Orlando Scandrick
Lost from 2009 - Anthony Henry, Adam Jones
Added for 2010 - Deangelo Smith, Mike Hawkins, Mike Mikens
My Take - I'm OK with the loss of Henry. He was really getting picked on when Newman was on the field and although his numbers weren't bad, when you watched a game the plays he gave up were big plays, of course some has to do with who was backing him up, but I'll get to that. I put Scandrick and Jenkins both up with the starters because according to reports and watching last season Scandrick seemed to take the third slot from Jenkins getting more snaps during the 2009 season. Which I'm OK with because I love a guy that feels like he's got something to prove and just wants to play football. As long as Newman can stay healthy (knock on wood) and Jenkins can learn to be more physical for the pro game I like this corner squad.

Safties
Starters - Ken Hamlin, Gerald Sensabaugh
Lost from 2009 - Roy Williams, Keith Davis, Tra Battle
Added for 2010 - Gerald Sensabaugh, Mike Hamlin, Jerome Carter
My Take - With the "Other" Roy Williams gone hopefully one of the largest holes in our coverage will be patched. Sensabaugh seems like a great pick up for the Cowboys, and just like we did with Hamlin we brought him in on a 1 year deal so he can prove himself. The loss of Keith Davis really doesn't bother the Safety position but I'm curious who will fill his leadership role on Special Teams. The Cowboys special teams was horrible without Davis, and I hope Joe DeCamillis has a plan this year. As far as the Safety position, All Sensabaugh needs to be is marginally better than Roy Williams and you will be able to see the complete difference in this defense.

My overall grade for the Cowboys offseason had to be a C+. There wasn't anything that just made me jump for joy at the draft. They didn't pick up any big names in free agency other than Keith Brooking, and that's like a B/C list celebrity for a Scorsese movie. As I've mentioned before, sometimes by picking up no-name guys you're actually trying to fill out a complete 52 man roster, and not just 22 players, let's hope that's what the Cowboys did. I will sit down and sometime before the season starts I'll put together my predictions.

Upcoming Blogs

2009-07-08T12:29:00.000-05:00

OK... I'm writing some new blogs as we speak. I'm probably going to really annoy some people because some are not exactly going to be short, but when you've taken a hiatus as I have you have a lot you want to get out. Here's a little preview of what's to come.

Cowboys Countdown Preview
You're 2010 Mavericks... so far!
Figuring out the Rangers
The Grim Reaper has been busy this year!

Also, don't forget the reader participation bits that I have going. So far I have one household that has participated in "Bears Mailbag" but I'm trying to have a little fun on here.

"Bears Mailbag" - Ask me anything and I will respond. You just never know what I might come up with.
"Douche Worthy" - When you're out on the town and you see something that you think it might be douche worthy, snap a photo, or write in and explain what you saw and I will determine whether it is douche worthy. I've actually been toiling with making this a panel vote with Big and Brown so that it's not just me playing Judge, Jury and Executioner.

I Promise I'm Not in Hibernation

2009-07-06T16:57:00.000-05:00

I feel horrible that I have not posted on here in a while. I have a bevy of things I want to write about, especially since sooooooooo much stuff has gone on in just the last few weeks. I've just been extremely busy. Every damn weekend has been filled with parties, moving, family vacations, etc., and during the week it's hard for me to blog at work (when I'm at the office) because the computer that's available is open to the entire office. Also, since moving, I didn't have Internet at home, and the computer I was using blue screened! So all of this combined has dropped my availability to write about everything that's been going on. I promise I'll get caught up to you 2, or 3 people that read this site.

Lets take a look at the iPhone 3G S

2009-06-17T17:02:00.000-05:00

Apple just released it's third version of the ever so popular iPhone. I will hand it to the iPhone for revolutionizing the cell phone industry, and this release not only is correcting some of the errors they made in the 3G iPhone, but added some new things to the iPhone. Being a long time Blackberry user, and short-time iPhone owner, but then gathering my senses and switching back to the Blackerry I will say that I am interested in some of the upgrades they've made to this version. It definitely seems like they listened to the users and tried to give them what they've been bitching about, so lets take a look at the iPhone 3G S shall we. Bizzle, this is for you!

MMS Messaging... I'm coming right out of the gate and talking about the most important addition to this iPhone. I know when I had my 3G it was annoying that for me to get a photo to someone I had to attach it to an email and hope that they could get it on their phone, or get it at all. Blackberry has had MMS messaging for quite some time and I'm glad to see that they've added this feature... It's about time. But they have also allowed a person to do some of the same forwarding my Bold has, like sending persons contact information instead of having to type it out.

Voice Control... This was the next more annoying thing that I missed when I went from the Curve to the 3G iPhone. Being in sales, and in the car a lot it was easy for me to just hit the button on the side of my bluetooth, hear the lady in my ear with "Say a command" (Oh I wish it was only that easy) and I'd say "Dial ###-###-###" and it would call. But on the older iPhone you had to take 4 steps before you could get to dialing, and on a touch screen... that was annoying. But unlike Blackberry, the 3G S voice command goes above and beyond by enabling you to control your music. Kinda cool, until your that asshole at the gym that yelling out "PLAY RUMP SHAKER" as you're getting under the bench.

Video... Something that I have truly enjoyed having on my Bold is taking video, and even voice recording (especially on drunken nights in the car when Carl Badlander decides to rap). But the 3G S now has a legit video recorder (not just an app) that shoots both in portrait and landscape. Something that's also cool is that when you take a photo you can select what you want to focus on if you want to ensure that crotch shot on the escalator is focused right. Except, lest me remind you that this is still only a camera phone, and you'll just never get the resolution and clarity one a camera phone that you will on an actual camera.

Cut/ Copy/ Paste... Again, a feature that the Blackberry's have had for some time, but being able to CCP will massively help those who use this phone as a business phone, like I tried to. Something that did is they've allowed you to CCP not only text, but images between applications. That's pretty cool, and thinking about the Blackberry, I think that's something that's possible because of it being a touchscreen.

Compass... This is the winner for most irrelevant upgrade. I'm glad that you iPhone 3G S users out there can tell me if I'm facing north, south, east or west. Let me know how that goes over in the woods when 2 miles in your hike your batteries already dead. I can see the sarcasm now "Oh man, I REALLY wish we had a compass right about now"... "You don't need to bring a compass, he says!I have one on my iPhone, he says!"

Internet Tethering... Hey iPhone... Blackberry has had this feature for years! But I'll tell you where it comes in handy. Overpriced hotels and airports. When you get to fancy-schmancy hotels they like to charge you per day to access their wireless; Same with most airports. So it's nice when you can just connect your phone to your computer and use your phones connection to go online and get your porn to pass the time. Just make sure if you're at the airport get a secluded corner you perv, we don't want to see what gets your rocks off.

Even with all these upgrades, that I complained about with the 3G iPhone, I'm going to be staying with my Blackberry Bold. I love this phone. I'm familiar with the Blackberry and I'm sorry, but no matter what Apple does, they will never be able to do email like Blackberry does! That, and I've read nothing about upgrades to the iPhone's battery life. To me, the iPhone is a fun toy, but some of the basic functions of a phone that I enjoy, the iPhone just hasn't been able to match, and I can text, tweet, and drive by feeling the keys on the Blackberry... You just will never get that with an iPhone.

I can cause deafness and vertigo!

2009-06-16T13:30:00.000-05:00

On a whim I decided to google one of my many nicknames to see what comes up. It explains some things, and has a whole lot of funny with others. For most of you I'm known as the Bear. A nickname given to me by a past female friend, embraced by the people around me and accentuated by my real life actions, i.e. actually scratching my back on a tree while camping. I also have another nickname, the one that the web address for this blog is named after, The Tobra. This one came about from one of our favorite Sports Talk Radio stations, 1310 The Ticket, and the infamous Hardline host Corby "The Snake" "Cobra" Davidson. One of our friends decided to take elements of my name, and the Cobra bit together and upon entering places where this gentleman would be I'd be greeted with "Hey! Where the Tobra?" So came about me being called The Tobra. But it's interesting what you find when you google such things. Tobra is not only a place in Austria (explains why I have seen visitors to this site from Austria), but it is also a drug... Tobramycin! Let the comedy begin. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that Tobramycin can cause deafness or a loss of equilibrioception (or vertigo). But the fun doesn't stop there; I'm also the Texas Oklahoma Barrel Racing, and if you don't know what that is... it's horse racing around a bunch of barrels where they have to weave around them and crap. Fun times.

Answering your questions!

2009-06-12T10:10:00.000-05:00

Welcome back to another installment of Bears Mail Bag. This week in the mail bag we have a returning visitor.

Jaclyn asks "I was watching the Rangers/Toronto game last night and Toronto has a pitcher named [Brandon] League, he wears some type of sports glasses....is there any reason why he would wear those other than to correct vision, ie to keep bugs/dust out?"

-Well Jaclyn there are a few reasons why a person would wear glasses for other reasons than just vision correction. Although, I'm sure Brandon Leagues are for vision, but there have been some major advances in lens technology. Even if you can see fine, there are lenses out there that help to reduce the effect of glare and reflections. They are called polarized lenses and they are awesome. I own a few pairs of polarized glasses and although you can't exactly look into the sun, they massively help you see things. But the largest reason a person would wear sunglasses if for safety reasons. Even shop glasses have come a long way from the plastic wrap-arounds I remember wearing in junior high shop class. But there are a lot of things a person can get into their eyes on the field. The sport is played outside, so yes dust and bugs are an element. There's also the chance a bat could break and splinters come flying at your face. I did read an article on the mens US Olympic Sand Volleyball team wore glasses with no lenses in them. Turns out they probably had to wear them because of a sponsorship with the glasses manufacturer.

If you have any questions for the Bear to answer, email me at WHERESTHETOBRA@GMAIL.COM. Whatever it may be, I'll answer it.

Missed me? Here are some quick hits

2009-06-12T00:21:00.000-05:00

I feel horrible! I haven't posted since Monday. So much has gone on and I've either been too busy to blog about it, too lazy to blog about it, or all of the above. I'm going with C. So I'm going to do a small quick hit on all, scratch that... some that's gone down this week.

Welcome Back Joe, Goodbye Dave!
Stars have brought back former Stars great Joe Nieuwendyk (yup, had to google his name to be sure I spelt it right) to be the Stars General Manager. One Star, replaces another Star! The position was being held by interim Co-GM's Brett Hull and Les Jackson. I really hope they keep Brett Hull around, because I thought he was doing a pretty good job, but then again, we really have NO CLUE what goes on behind closed doors. Anyways, Joey didn't wait long to make his first move by firing Dave Tippet, Stars coach from 02-now. I know some people are shocked about this. Claiming that it wasn't his fault for the Stars dismal performance this last year where they missed the playoffs but that they got caught by the injury bug. I just had a sinking feeling that Tippet was hanging by a thread for his job. The only reason he was back last year was because he FINALLY got the Stars past the first round and into the Conference Finals. So I'm interested in seeing what the Star new Head Coach Marc Crawford can do with this team! I know one thing that needs to be done first... GET A BACK UP GOALIE!

MLB Rule 4 Draft
If any of you really care about this damn draft you are either a beat writer, or just insanely crazy about baseball. Here's why I can't stand the Baseball draft. It's too long, something like 50 f'ing rounds. Besides the first round no-one really cares! Most of the guys drafted will never see the big club, and the guys that get drafted in the first round you aren't going to see for a few years anyways. Sometimes, just sometimes you know of a kid that's just a stud, like the A-Rod's, or the Elvis Andrus' out there, but lets be honest, you didn't know about A-Rod until he became a Mariner, and you didn't know about Andrus until he became a Ranger. But the Rangers stocked up on pitching, and just remember the name Scheppers. He was drafted last year, but didn't get signed due to injury, and supposedly this kid has some talent throwing the ball. God I hope I didn't just jinx him!

Rangers sign El Duque?
Brown pointed this out to me as I was working at the office today, so it was a confusion for me when I get the text "El Duque????" When I looked it up I'm still trying to understand this signing. The Rangers are on a "Youth Movement" and this dude, Orlando Hernandez, is not young. Also, He hasn't pitched since 2007 when he was with the Mets and even then his numbers weren't great. But I am OK with this because it is only a Minor League deal, so if El Duque sees the Big Club, that would mean that he's pitching really well, or the Rangers are pitching really horribly! Lets hope it's not the latter of the two because I've been very happy with what I've seen from the Rangers bullpen this season. I mean shit... they are still the "First Place Texas Rangers!" God, I hope I didn't just jinx them with that too!

That's all I got so far... I'm starting to get feel like I should be doing something like sleeping since it's almost 1AM, and I know of three other blogs I need to type. So don't worry kids, I won't be gone long!

Rangers Dealt hefty blow

2009-06-09T11:22:00.000-05:00

Well, first off I want to come out and say that I, as so many of us, got the Vincinte Padilla thing ALL wrong. I really thought that if you come right out and dedicate a guy for waivers it would be a bad idea to keep him on your team. Well apparently teams have done this before with troubled players to scare them to act right. Has it worked? Who knows. But Padilla did pitch the last game in Boston and looked good enough for the win going 7 innings only allowing 4 hits, 3 runs, and 2 earned. Although, I was right on who they would bring up... Doug Mathis, who gets the start today against Toronto!

All that aside, The Rangers were dealt a heavy blow yesterday when they found out that Josh Hamilton's injury was a little worse than they expected with a partial tear in his abdominal muscles. The injury will keep Hamilton on the DL for 4-6 weeks. The Rangers, and us fans, were hoping that it was just going to be a 2 week recovery. Yet, I guess I'm glad that it's not the same injury that kept Ian Kinsler off the field for the last 6 weeks of last season. Hamilton is supposed to go into surgery today, so hopefully we'll get some reports later today how it went.

But that wasn't the only blow the Rangers took. Brandon McCarthy was also placed on the DL for a stress fracture in his right shoulder. The weird part is no-one really knows how long he'll be out because all the reports out there only say a 'Several Weeks.' But this gives me an opportunity to say where I made another call right. With McCarthy out, this gives an opening in the rotation and they are deciding to give Doug Mathis a shot and move Derek Holland into the bullpen.

I guess, we'll see what the Rangers are truly made of now that injuries are setting in and we haven't even hit the miserable summer heat. "First Place Texas Rangers"

Jerry said what?

2009-06-09T11:04:00.000-05:00

"Akka, Akka, Akka"

There have been some reports, here, here, and here, out there that have been speculating that Jerry Jones is NOT against bringing Adam "Pacman" Jones back for a second stint. The reports are claiming that in his ten games with the Cowboys, Pacman graded as their best corner back. Well, this just proves to you how you can't believe stats! He recorded 31 tackles, and NO interceptions. Even though that number of tackles is pretty high through 10 games it's because teams knew there was a weakness on his side of the field so they threw his direction. I don't know about you, but I vividly remember several times where Pacman had an interception gift basket-ed and he butter fingered it, or stone handed it. FAIL. I just think after you let Terrell Owens and Greg Ellis, two of your locker room instigators, why would you want to bring this guy back in?

My Top 10 "Would Ya's?"

2009-06-04T10:15:00.000-05:00

Everyone has their hottest women they'd love to meet, or see in person like Jessica Biel, Jennifer Anniston, Megan Fox, Jordana Brewster and so on, and so forth. But what about the girls that aren't always on the cover of magazines, or constantly making Maxim's Hot 100? You know... where you find yourself asking your buddies "Would Ya?" when they show up on the screen, or in a photo. I know that some of the women on here don't truly fit the "Would Ya?" mold, but I guess what I'm going for are the women out there that aren't Halle Berry, or Bar Rafaeli, or someone that can be considered a super model. So with that... these are my top 10.

1) Jenna Fischer

Jenna is probably the one girl on this list that I would want to meet the most. She also could be a stretch, too me, for the Cute list because I think she's HOT. Trying not to base her solely off her character on The Office, she just seems like the prototypical girl next door. Looks just as good in a designer dress as she does in jeans and a t-shirt.

2) Tina Fey

If you don't know who she is then you don't like comedy. Long time cast member on SNL, branched out on her own to write, and star in her own show 30 Rock. So she's funny, wears glasses, and seems like she has the same moronic sense of humor as most guys.

3) Zooey Daschanel

Zooey has that weird cuteness. I remember seeing her in movies a while back, but then forgot about her for a while until she did Yes Man with Jim Carey. She was also in The Happening and she is very cute. Something about that dark hair and blue eyes!

4) Kari Byron

Kari has become a the female perspective on Mythbusters (which I watch). She had some random guest articles in FHM where she would explain the "Science" behind things like using a pickle as a battery and the infamous Diet Coke and Mentos. Although her outfits on the show aren't flattering she's got something, and I'm not talking about just brains. I got teased into thinking I found a Playboy shoot of her, but turns out it was just some British chick Alex Sim-Wise (NSFW)

5) Kristen Wiig

Another SNL cast member, but this is a current cast member. I don't know what it is about Kristen, but there's something to a woman that could make me laugh, and not in the "You really don't know how to do that?!" way.

6) Anna Paquin

I thought Anna was cute when she played Rogue in X-men. But at that time I felt bad for thinking that because I thought she was too young, yet turns out she was 19. She's recently gotten higher on my list with her new series on HBO, True Blood. So what she's got a gap between her front teeth, she's good looking.

7) Sarah Silverman

Sarah definitely has that funny hotness that seems to appear in my top ten a few times. She has an on again, off again relationship with the former Man Show co-host, current Late Night host Jimmy Kimmel. It was on his show where some of her most memorable material was created when she did the "I'm Fucking Matt Damon" song.

8) Amy Poehler

Amy is yet another SNL cast member appearance. Seems funny women move up my list! Amy just had a kid, retired from SNL and her presence will be lost on Weekend Updates. But at least you can still catch her on her new show Parks & Recreation where she tries her best recreation of Michael Scott (Steve Carell) from The Office.

9) Kelly Clarkson

She's got that Thick hotness. Even when she lost a bunch of weight and got hotter, she still had the bahdunk going and there's nothing wrong with that. She's also a local girl so I'm sure that helps her on my list. The first American Idol winner definitely has a set of pipes on her, if you know what I mean? You know... that she can sing (you're so dirty)!

10) Joey Lauren Adams

Joey made her first known appearance, to me, in Dazed and Confused then had recurring spots in some of the Kevin Smith movies, Chasing Amy, Jay and Silent Bob, Mallrats, etc. Most memorable scene I have of her was in Mallrats when she's trying on underwear in the middle of the store (she also has a short topless scene). She's got that higher pitched voice that could possibly get a little annoying after a while but she's definitely cute.

Honorable Mentions

Mandy Moore, Michelle Rodriguez, Elizabeth Smart

Ranger parting ways with beaner...

2009-06-03T19:03:00.001-05:00

No, I'm not making it a racial joke, that was just a coincidence. I'm more alluding to the what one of the reasons that the Texas Rangers have declared Vincente Padilla for waivers. Coming off the loss to the New York Spankies at the tune of 12-3, and one where Padilla clearly hit Yankees first baseman, former Rangers great, Mark Teixeira. As a self proclaimed douche bag hater I'm completely OK with Padilla beaning him... hell he can go ahead and hit Alex Rodriguez too and it'd make my day. But by claiming Padilla for waivers shows that the Rangers have a certain direction they want to go with their pitchers/players and Padilla obviously doesn't fit that mold. I mean, who would want a 32 year alcoholic pitcher that is struggling with staying healthy for an entire season?

So what are the Rangers options now? Well, the one thing that could happen, that would really suck for the Rangers, is that no-one would pick up Padilla's options. The only reason I could see that happening is because no-one would want to pay Padilla his current salary of roughly $12 million. If that happens then the Rangers will have to release him because I just see no way you can keep a guy after flat out telling him you don't want him anymore. There are a lot of teams I could see picking him up as their 3rd, or 4th starter. Baltimore? San Diego? Minnesota? Who knows, but the big question is his current contract is a little large for a guy that you might only have for the rest of the year.

So what does this do to the rotation? Luckily this is a good problem that the Rangers haven't had in a while by having young pitchers to fill the gaps. Obviously the first place you go is shift McCarthy and Feldman up in the rotation, Then it leaves Matt Harrison and Derrek Holland for the 4th and 5th spots. I like the new mentality that Maddox and Nolan have been pushing the younger pitchers and everyone agrees that Holland has "it", but you also have Neftali Feliz and Luis Mendoza in the minors. Feliz has the strong arm, but I don't know if they're ready to make him a full starter yet, and Mendoza has been a little shaky when brought up. They could want to keep Holland as the long relief, and if so I'd like to see them up Douglas Mathis, or Brian Gordon from Oklahoma. Both have been pitching very well and could have earned the spot. Personally I believe Holland will get the spot, but I'm OK with Mathis. He's a younger arm at 25, of course not as young as Holland, but he's putting up good number in AAA. So, I guess we'll see what happens Friday at noon when the waiver wire closes on Padilla.

No Tearful Goodbyes Here!

2009-06-02T15:34:00.000-05:00

"I actually shaved this morning!"

Well, it's official. The Dallas Cowboys have released veteran Defensive End/Outside Linebacker Greg Ellis. To be honest, this was to be expected. In Dallas we've all heard the drama every year since Parcells decided to move his position with the 3-4 scheme. I just don't get why this guy was such a drama queen? He was upset about moving to Outside Linebacker, but then had a fantastic season in his new rule racking up 12.5 sacks. Last year he didn't quite have the numbers, but he was granted a restructured contract because he was worried about the bonuses he would miss out on in case he was injured. This year he started saying the same thing, and with the drafting of Anthony Spencer he wanted more assurance that the Cowboys were going to commit to him. Well I'm not sad to see him go. I'm assuming that this was another locker room deal, and I'm OK with that. I want people that are here to play for the team, and not for themselves. So where could he go? Who knows... there's a lot of teams that could use a 12 year veteran defensive end. In fact... I know of a certain team to the north that has taken a few of our discards since they have Zimmer at the Defensive helm... That'd be the Cincinnati Bengals for you people that don't ever read this blog, since they have the "other" Roy Williams and Tank Johnson!

Romo, Witten and Simpson spotted at the Lake!

2009-06-02T14:35:00.000-05:00

Sadly I was working my weekend part-time job this day, but some friends, Dot Com and Carl Badlander, took the boat out to the lake last Saturday where there were a few Cowboys spotting. Tony Romo (Simpson in tow, but staying concealed), Jason Witten and, some guy named Bobby Carpenter were enjoying the lake and partaking in the Party Cove festivities. It's kind of nice knowing that there is a bond between the players on the team, and by the fact that Romo was able to get out there and throw the ball for fun lets me know he hasn't forgotten how to have fun. The images are provided by Dot Com's wife quickly jumping to action with the camera as she does and these are the one he felt like posting, so I stole them from him.

I wonder if his throw was an intercepted?

Lose the ponytail Bobby... it's not helping your game!

You make you're own vote

2009-06-02T10:07:00.000-05:00

I was emailed this just as I'm sure many of you sports fans were too, but J Bizzle sent this to me and I thought I would go ahead and post it on here. You can make your own decision who you're going to vote for in the All Star Game, but here's this to think about.

Gentlemen,

I may have told some of you this story or you may remember it from when it
occurred. My sister’s boyfriend Joe’s lifelong best friend was the lone
survivor in the car accident that killed Angels’ pitcher 22 year old Nick
Adenhart. Jon “The Miracle” Wilhite was internally decapitated, yet his spinal
cord amazingly remained intact. The brilliance of the paramedics and the entire
team of folks at the hospital are responsible for Jon's ability to WALK out of
the hospital this past Friday (5/22), to spend the Memorial Day weekend with his
family before entering months of rehab. Not an easy walk, but he did it. Huge.
He is pictured below with his family, smiling on the right, no longer wearing
his halo.

You can imagine the expense of Jon’s care is not insignificant. This
weekend, a former CSF team-mate, Kurt Suzuki, now an MLB star catcher with the
Oakland Athletics, and his wife Renee, launched an enormous online fundraiser to
help the Wilhites cover the finances for Jon's care and recovery (see Auctions
at www.oaklandathletics.com). Baseball fans have plenty to bid on and choose
from. The site also has the news articles about the accident and what the
Suzuki’s are doing in the site’s press pick-list. You can imagine the great
character of a person like Kurt to go so far above and beyond for his friend
Jon.

As you see in the letter at the bottom of this email, Jon, his uncle, and
the Wilhite family have been overwhelmed by what the Suzukis are doing. What the
family asks is that you take the time to vote for Kurt for a place in the MLB
American League All-Star team. The link is in the MLB blurb below.

Those of you who are not fond of baseball, perhaps you could take time to
participate in a MADD run/walk in memory of Nick, Courtney and Henry.

I hope you will forward this to as many as you know. Vote for Kurt. Send
prayers and energy to Jon. Don't drink and drive.

I spoke to my sister over the phone after she’d gotten the opportunity to
see Jon in the hospital over the weekend. Paraphrased from our conversation:
Standing at 5’ 11 1/2” before his injury, Jon now jokes that the doctors
reattached his head slightly higher than before so that he is now a full 6’
tall.

Vote for Kurt.